We're All Gonna DIE!!!!!11

Hey boys and girls! It's that time again! That's right, it's climate change apocalypse time!

A mass extinction that wipes out humanity will be under way by the year 2100, scientists have claimed.

By the end of the century, it’s feared that so much carbon will have been added to the oceans that the planet will have passed a “threshold of catastrophe” which leads to the destruction of our species.

That's right, only 83 years to stock up on bottled water and batteries! Better get moving.


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What Thugs?

Ostriching in SanFran:

The Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) system in San Francisco and Oakland has been withholding video evidence of crimes committed on trains and at stations perpetrated by groups of teenagers, it has been revealed.

According to CBS Local, dozens of teenagers committed large-scale acts of robbery and assaults in the months of April and June. In April, “forty to sixty” teenagers boarded a train at Coliseum stop, where they proceeded to rob seven passengers and beat up two. In June, four teens assaulted a passenger and stole his cellphone. Just two days later, about a dozen teens snatched the phone of a woman on a train.

In each of these cases, BART has refused to publish surveillance footage, citing fears that the videos could create negative racial perceptions.

In other words, the ferals are running amok and the limp-wristed leftists who pretend to run San Francisco are too terrified to call them out.

Social collapse is imminent in California, and San Francisco will lead the fall. Get the popcorn.


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Left Eats Left

Black Lives Matter Protests Gay Pride Parades

You ever been to a rodeo and watched the clowns performing between events? There's one gag they pull where two clowns will get into a "fight" with one another over some imagined slight, (stealing a chair or some such), and they "ignore" the bull while they are busy fighting with each other. That's when the bull will usually take advantage of their apparent distraction and charge over to flip one of them up in the air.

The difference, of course, is that the guys in the rodeo arena are actually professionals who know exactly what they're doing. Leftists are just clowns.


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The Color of Money

House leader fed up with Exxon climate probe

Rep. Lamar Smith, R-Texas, the chairman of the House Science Committee, sent a letter to the attorneys general in Massachusetts and New York, and a consortium of environmental advocacy groups, seeking documents tied to charges accusing Exxon of misleading the public and investors about climate change.

"If you continue to refuse to provide information responsive to the committee's requests on a voluntary basis, I will be left with no alternative but to utilize the tools delegated to the committee by the House of Representatives," his letter read. "Specifically, the committee will consider use of compulsory process to obtain responsive documents in the possession, custody, or control of your office."

Smith in his letter suggested the probe into Exxon may be skewed in favor of a particular agenda and said the extent of the examination so far was "overbroad."

That's lawyer-speak for "You're full of shit."

The New York Attorney General's office issued a subpoena to Exxon last year following a series of reports claiming the company was misleading investors decades ago about the potential impact its sector had on the environment.

This year, New York City pension fund managers said they'd move away from coal and the philanthropic arm of the Rockefeller family, which amassed its fortune from oil, said the "morally reprehensible conduct" of Exxon Mobil was in part behind a decision to divest from fossil fuels.

In other words, your public sector pension funds are upside down due to your half-cocked, sanctimoniously-derived poor investment decisions. In an attempt to recover the lost funds without looking like the bunch of incompetent mouthbreathers you actually are, you're trying to sue the people you divested from.

The House committee has called your bluff. Come clean or go fuck yourselves. Or better, do both.


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WTF

Marine Corps to remove 'man' from 19 job titles

/sigh

As Mark Steyn recently stated, "when reality and delusion duke it out, bet on reality every time." The reality: women are incapable of meeting the physical and emotional demands of soldiering.

I'm not talking about fighting, I'm talking about SOLDIERING. Anyone who has been there knows the difference and knows exactly why the above statement is true. I've seen it first-hand. But go ahead and get good men killed with your stupid little political games. I'm only glad I've no children serving in the Corps and all my friends have long since retired. Stupid twats.


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Hippies are Retarded

The moral of this story: if we feed "vegans" to lions, everyone wins.


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Ban Machetes!

Politicians call for tougher machete laws after park attack

Yes, because that will obviously solve the problem of psychotics attacking people with whatever is at hand. I mean, he couldn't possibly have attacked anybody with a kitchen knife or a 2x4 or a snow shovel or a fallen tree limb. Nosiree! Gotta ban those machetes! That's the answer, I tells ya!

A machete is a piece of untempered sheet steel, two small pieces of wood, and two machine screws. I can make one in my garage with hand tools -- HAND tools -- in a couple of hours. So what are you going to do? Ban sheet metal, wood and hand tools?

Stupid fucking Leftists.


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A Barrel Full of Morons

Methinks thou doth protest too much:

Officials from the Massachusetts State Police and Easton Fire Department are reporting that an ambulance responding to violent car accident was blocked from traveling to a Boston hospital on Thursday.

Massachusetts State Police Superintendent Timothy P. Alben told reporters during a press conference that an Easton ambulance carrying car crash victims in serious condition had to be diverted to a lower-level hospital because of the protests.

About 11 people were arrested by police for blocking I-93 north near East Milton Square on Thursday as part of an action by the #BlackLivesMatter protest movement. The protesters blocked traffic by locking themselves together with the help of concrete filled barrel they transported to the site with a rented box truck.

Black lives may matter, but those of morons do not. Just get a tow truck out there to pick up the concrete-filled barrels -- with stupid hipsters still attached -- and drop them into the nearest river. Much less paperwork than arresting them: "Barrel fell into river. No sign of protestor."

Problem solved and everybody's happier -- including, I should think, the nebulous "black lives" for whom these pasty-white lion snacks are supposedly protesting. I certainly wouldn't want them representing me, nor can I imagine any sentient creature desiring such. #ConcreteDontFloat


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You're Hot and You're Cold...

Cherry-pickin':

The numbers are in. The year 2014 – after shattering temperature records that had stood for hundreds of years across virtually all of Europe, and roasting parts of South America, China and the Russian far east – was the hottest on record, with global temperatures 1.24F (0.69C) higher than the 20th century average, US government scientists said on Friday.

A day after international researchers warned human activities had pushed the planet to the brink, new evidence of climate change arrived. The world was the hottest it has been since systematic records began in 1880, especially on the oceans, which the agency confirmed were the driver of 2014’s temperature rise.

Hold on a minute! When all of us "global warming deniers" (i.e., people who understand the scientific method) pointed out that we had the coldest winter in recorded history a couple years ago, we were told that "you can't cherry pick data out of long term trends" and "that's just weather, not climate." What about all that huff? Oh, right; it doesn't fit YOUR narrative, so it's meaningless.


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Maui Wowwie

You know why I love ignorant tree-hugging hippies? Because they provide us with hilariously overwrought headlines such as this one:

The last 55 Maui dolphins face extinction unless something is done RIGHT NOW

That's RIGHT NOW, mind you. Not next month or tomorrow or even a few minutes after lunch, but RIGHT NOW. Miss Michael continues his self-righteous squalling:

The Maui dolphin is the world's rarest dolphin, and if we don't act now to save it, it will soon be wiped out form [sic] the face of the Earth. “We are down to the last 55 dolphins, so we are calling on our political leaders to let them know it’s time to take action to save these precious animals,” said New Zealand Executive Director Chris Howe. “At the rate we are going the only place future generations will be able to see Maui’s is in museums.”

The last 55 of them! Because the dedicated defenders of Gaia have scoured every cubic foot of ocean on the entire planet and the only place they've found them is in Maui. Absolutely no way could any of them be surviving anywhere else. Nope, can't possibly happen.

Even if these are the last 55 of this particular quirky sub-sub-species of dolphin... so what? Lefties and hippies have a monstrous mental dichotomy: they constantly thump on religion and espouse the untarnished truth of Darwinism, then in the next breath they preach about how we have to save such-and-such sub-sub-species and preserve it for posterity. One begins to suspect they don't actually understand science and logic, but rather live moment-to-moment, forever adrift on an ocean of emotional imbecility.


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Darwin loves...

...light:

A woman living in the east of Switzerland who believed she could survive on light alone was found starved to death, it has emerged.

Anna Gut (not her real name) was in her early fifties when she saw the film, “In the beginning there was light,” a documentary in which two men claim to survive entirely on light. The film, which ran in Swiss cinemas in 2010, portrayed two men, 62-year-old Swiss Michael Werner, an anthroposophist with a doctorate in chemistry, and 83-year-old Indian yogi Prahlad Jani. Both men claimed to derive sustenance from spiritual means rather than the intake of food.

Werner claims he has lived this way since 2001, while Jani says he has lived for 70 years not only without food but also without water. Anna Gut started her long preparations for the process by reading a book by another proponent of "breatharianism", 54-year-old Australian Ellen Greve, who also goes by the name Jasmuheen, or eternal air.

This belief should be strongly encouraged among the "new age" set and other lefty types. Breatharianism is the future! It's the only way to Save The World™! Act now, you stinkin' hippies.

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Words fail me

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Ratboy

Another Obama voter on display:

A man charged with aggravated animal abuse for allegedly eating a live baby rat and posting a video of it on the Internet made a brief court appearance Tuesday.

Andy ['Ratboy'] Harris, 31, is charged in Tooele's 3rd District Court with aggravated cruelty to an animal, a class A misdemeanor.

A photo of Ratboy:



I recently discovered what those giant ear hoops are called; you know, the ones where they cut holes in their ears and stick in some African, ungi-bungi-looking open ring -- like Ratboy, for example. Strangely enough, the technical terminology varies by age. If the person in question is under the age of 22, it's called "gauging." If they're 22 or older, it's called "Don'tHireMeI'maPatheticLoserMommasboy." Weird, huh?

Hope'n'Change, folks. Hope'n'Change.

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And on the eighth day...

Sea Lions to Be Killed For Eating Endangered Fish

"This is not an easy decision for our agency to make, but a thorough analysis shows that a small number of California sea lions preying on salmon and steelhead are having a significant effect on the ability of the fish stocks to recover."

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Village Idiots

"It's not my fault!"

It Takes a Village to Raise a Kid: Why Does Everyone Blame Mom?

A recent study concluded that as working moms raise the numbers in the checkbook, they’re also raising the numbers on the scale for their kids. The study showed that children of working moms had a higher BMI and likelihood of obesity than kids of non-working moms, especially when these moms worked evenings and weekends. Though the children of moms with long-term 9-to-5 jobs fared best among dual income families, BMI was highest when moms returned to the workforce during their children’s fifth and sixth grade years.

The study suggests that working mothers’ reliance on unhealthy fast food contributes to kids’ higher weight, as well as the fact that these moms are not around to steer their kids away from the TV and keep them active after school.

I'm gonna have to pick up the phone and dial B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

Both of my parents worked full time. I was a latchkey kid. And I didn't get fat (as a kid; gotta be sure to qualify that one). That's because I did not WANT to sit behind the television when I got home. In fact, I didn't actually want to come home. I wanted to go to a friend's house and try to build a bike ramp big enough to jump over a house. Or take off with our pellet guns and go kill small, innocent woodland creatures. Or play football in Wayne's front yard. Or... Well, you get the idea.

This whiny piece of journalistic string cheese is endemic of the problem: lack of parenting "want-to" among a generation of girls who were brought up by Disney Productions. Little Miss Corporate doesn't actually want to raise the children, taking responsibility for them early and drilling good decision-making behaviors into that tabula rasa between their darling little ears. No, she wants a live-action doll that will walk around and make cooing noises after she dresses it in the latest fashion from Macy's.

If your kids are making bad choices, it's not the kids' fault, it's not the teachers' fault, and it sure as hell isn't the fault of food manufacturers and video game salesmen. It's your fault, cupcake. Speaking for "the village," I didn't ask you to reproduce; I'm sure as hell not taking any responsibility for the fact that you have spring-loaded hips.

Suck it up and be the adult. Lock the fucking video game in a cabinet, set up time-limiting software on the computer, and tell your flesh-colored beach balls to bounce their fat asses outside and climb a goddamned tree. They might fall and break an arm, they'll probably get dozens of minor injuries every month, and they'll almost certainly eat dirt and torture bugs. That's called "childhood." It doesn't have a warning label on it.

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(If, dear reader, you'd like to read more infuriating evidence of victimhood mentality and weepy chest-thumping, just pick any other article on the linked site. It's a huge pity party for suburban princesses. Might want to get a barf bag ready.)

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9,999 Luftballons

The silly hippies in San Francisco have discovered something else to knot up their panties, (I can see that you're surprised):

A publicity stunt for a new warfare-based video game sent local environmentalists to arms when a mass of balloons carrying advertisements for the game cascaded into San Francisco Bay.

"When I looked out the window and saw thousands of balloons dropping straight into the bay, I was flabbergasted," said Rod Fujita, a senior oceans scientist for the Environmental Defense Fund. "I never expected to see something like this in San Francisco, where there's such concern about the bay and pollution.""

Yeah... You're so concerned about the purity of the water supply, you're willing to dump millions of gallons of caustic chemicals into it.

A statement from THQ assured concerned bayside residents that the balloons released "were made from a 100% organic product and are 100% biodegradable," with no history of causing environmental pollution.

That, of course, wasn't good enough for the envirotards:

"Even biodegradable products take a while to disappear," Fujita said.

Tell me about it! Hippies are biodegradable and they obstinately refuse to disappear.

The New Civility

The Anchoress shows us how the Democrats and unionists qualify "civil discourse." I call it mob rule, but I guess I'm just old-fashioned.

To quote a friend of mine, "God, please take the hippies soon! We can't survive much more of this!" Unfortunately, they've spawned -- and their progeny is compounding the traditional leftist ignorance with aggressive stupidity.

What people like Governor Walker, Governor Christie and others are attempting to do is to wean a spoiled child off the teat so that they can get on with the business of growing into an adult. As always, it's a struggle. But in this case, the "infant" is a poorly-educated mob of entitlement-minded New Agers, college children, and union neo-socialists, all of whom have strong tendencies towards violent outbursts when they feel themselves losing an argument.

There is a real possibility this will get ugly in a big way. I am fortunate (and smart) to live in Texas; we are a right-to-work state and we keep the leftist shenanigans strictly within the lines here. But if you're in one of those unionist states, watch yourself; these loons are a giant tenderbox waiting for a spark to fall. You don't want to be anywhere near them when they finally go up.

That Smell, Part Two

Referencing Fundy's post of yesterday, concerning the San Francisco hippies and their stinky low-flow toilets, I heard on the radio this morning that the geniuses over in fruitcake land have concocted a solution (if you'll pardon the pun) to the problem of pipes filled with hippie feces: they're going to buy $14,000,000 worth of sodium hypochlorite and sodium hydroxide, mix 'em together, and pump the resulting brew into the sewer system.

It's otherwise known as Drain-O.

Brilliant! So to keep from using an extra half-gallon of water when you flush the toilet, you'll spend $100,000,000 on infrastructure changes and then every few months you'll spend another $14,000,000 to dump caustic chemicals into the drains.

Only an idiot liberal hippie environmentalist douchebag would come up with that and call it a good idea.

Ooh, that smell, Can't you smell that smell

And no it is not the hippies this time.

Brain Freeze

A hippie hut classroom in London is an unmitigated disaster:

The much feted zero-carbon Living Ark classroom was opened three months ago to great fanfare.

It boasts laudable green credentials and is made from sustainable wood, sheep’s wool and soil. The roof is made of mud and grass and it has its own ‘rain pod’ and solar panels. But there is snag – its solar panels only provide enough energy to power a few lightbulbs.

As a result the classroom is bitterly cold and uninhabitable for lessons.

Silly eco-hippies; engineering and construction are activities for mature adults. Go back to planting trees and leave the real work to those qualified for it.