Semper Fidelis

Corporal Casey Owens salutes during the inauguration of President Bush. Click the photo for the full story.

15 years ago, I was that young corporal. The difference is, I came back with my legs intact.

I am going to punch the next clueless, idiot hippie I meet square in the fucking cakehole. My tolerance is extensive, but it does have its limits. Look at the photo, and you'll see those limits illustrated quite clearly.

(Hat tip to Rick F. for pointing this one out)

French Python?!

Heresy!

Remember, these are the people who actually think Jerry Lewis is funny. Can you imagine the atrocities they will inflict upon the Holy Body Of Python Comedy? Heresy, I say!

Heliodisplay

I've been following this technology for over a year now, and it seems to be legitimate, though I have yet to see one in person.

Note that it's not true holography; it's actually a standard two-dimensional image. What's different is that it requires no screen of any kind. The device simply projects the image directly into the air.

Cosmological Snake Oil

Here we go again with the "dark matter" garbage. This is beginning to annoy me.

If you're not conversant in cosmological terminology, please allow me to explain. Here's the scenario; I want you to apply Occam's Razor and tell me your conclusion.

You've built a beautiful, perfectly-balanced, incredibly detailed mathematical model of the universe. Everything fits in its place, and it allows you to understand the mechanics of galaxies, clusters, and superclusters in amazing detail, as well as understand the origins of the universe. All is well in Cosmology Land... well, except for one little thing: the mass estimates of your model don't quite, exactly match up with the actual observed data. There's a small error of... um... well, it's about 80%, actually.

So, you tell me which is more likely:

1) There is approximately five times more matter in the universe than observations can account for, and it takes the form of something that can't be seen, identified, or observed in any way, yet magically influences what you can see so that the universe conforms exactly with your theoretical model.

OR

2) Your theoretical model is fundamentally flawed.


Real head-scratcher there, huh?

There is no difference between the "theory" of dark matter, and the "theory" of the celestial spheres. Both are equally scientific-- which is to say, not at all.

"Dark matter" my ass.

Hard to Port!...er Starboard!... uhh... Damn.

This is what's left of the bow of the USS San Francisco, SSN-711, a Los Angeles-class nuclear attack submarine, after she ran aground 350 miles off of Guam. Methinks somebody's gonna lose an oakleaf over this one.

Yellow Snow

And your mom told you nothing good could ever come of drinking too much...

U.N.-fit for Existence III

Oh, the surprise... U.N. officials involved in graft and corruption. Which, of course, has never happened before. The most delicious part, however, is that this particular official is described as an "anti-corruption watchdog" for the U.N.

I'm actually starting to sort of like the U.N. After all, they provide an endless stream of comedic material. If I tried to make this stuff up and sell it as comedy, nobody would laugh; they'd say it was too over-the-top to be even mildly credible.

Welcome to reality, United Nations-style.

UPDATE: I just noticed that this is a registration link. Not to worry; just get BugMeNot. Note that you can install an extension which enables right-click bypasses for all registration sites, if you're using Firefox. You are using Firefox, right? If not, go ye immediately to Mozilla.org and download it. You can find a direct link on the sidebar of my page.

Darwin Alert: Third Rail

Darwin loves electricity.

His horrified pals watched as a bolt of electricity blew him 15ft in the air and turned into a fireball.

/golf clap

9.65; 9.65; 9.70; 9.65; 9.80

Darwin for the win! I hope he had enough time to consider just how much of an idiot he was, right before the flow of electrons turned his brain into an electrolytic sludge.

Tiger Snacks

Winston Churchill once said that "dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry."

The Chinese population is a very large tiger.

Few things in life give me a warm-n-fuzzy like watching communist leaders swinging at the end of a noose. I'm hopeful we'll see a lot of that in the near future, over Beijing-way. I'll even volunteer to help build a mass gallows in the middle of Tiananmen Square.

With Apologies to Foster's...

How to speak Australian:

"Justice Virginia Bell"

That's Australian for "clueless asshat."

U.N.-fit for Existence II

The United Nations continues its descent into self-parody, by appointing such "worthies" as Cuba, China, and Zimbabwe as leaders on an "elite action panel" within the Human Rights Commission.

In other news, polar bears have volunteered to oversee the wildlife refuge of endangered harbor seals. They gave the Secretary-General their solemn oath that they would not eat the seals (without sauce).

Engineering Alert: Chemical Nano-conductor Deposition

Researchers at the National Institute of Standards and Technology have patented a process of depositing and bonding conductive material onto individual molecular chains in a reliable, industrial manner. The process essentially suspends the conductors in a solution and then deposits them via chemical trigger. If you're not into nanotechnology, believe me: this is a Very Big Deal.

Looks like Moore's Law defeats the nay-sayers yet again.

The Kids Are Oil Right

Perhaps the neighbors are grouchy because they weren't invited?

Aliens Cause Global Warming

This transcript of a Michael Crichton speech, delivered to a CalTech audience in 2003, is a must read.

I can only gaze in awe at his brilliance.

Driver's Education

The car for sale, a 1969 Camaro in nearly pristine condition, is beautiful. Wish I'd had the money to bid on it. But, ah... be sure to read the reason why the car was up for auction.

Full Moon Over Orange County

I'm pretty sure I've been to this bar, (like nobody has ever heard me utter those words before). It's about 10 minutes north of the Camp Pendleton-San Clemente gate, not far from good ol' Area 52: home of Fifth Marines and my stomping ground for several years.

However, I can't say I've ever been to the event. Actually, I can't believe it's gone on for 25 years. Amtrak bureaucrats are notoriously lacking in the humor department.

An Apple a Day...

Violent crime in Britain is skyrocketing. Smash'n'grab robberies, front door burglaries, rape, murder... all are climbing at fantastic rates. Homeowners can no longer own firearms, or any means to protect themselves, and the criminals are given more rights in court than the victims. The police complain they simply can't respond to all the calls they get--and rightly so. It's not the job of the police to protect a man's castle, despite what idiot politicians may say. But they've been put in that position, so they have to at least give it the old college try.

So, what are the bobbies doing with their limited time and resources? Why, using a plane, a helicopter, and a patrol car to chase down a 23-year old nurse on her way to work, of course! What heinous criminal endeavour was she engaged in that required such attention and pursuit? Eating an apple.

What? You mean you don't consider eating an apple while driving to be a crime? Neither does anyone else in the world with an ounce of common sense. Apparently, we can now exclude the entire British legal system from that category.

Believe me, I'd like to give the benefit of a doubt to the bobbies, here. But I see no way to do so. They wasted enormous time, effort, and manpower on something so trivial, it baffles me to even try and understand their thought processes.

I smell an impending revolution in Great Britain.

Nationally Standardized Driver's License

I have two views, almost diametrically opposed, on this issue. The CSM covers them both pretty well, so I'll shut up and let you read it.

Keeping The NAAPB At Bay

More hilarity from Fruitloop Central.

While the goal is reducing plastic bag pollution, paper was added so as not to discriminate.

Words fail me.

The New Realpolitik

Mark Steyn makes an excellent point in his latest article:

That was what Bush accomplished so superbly in his speech: the idealistic position -- spreading liberty -- is now also the realist one: If you don't spread it, in the end your own liberty will be jeopardized. "It is the policy of the United States," said the president, "to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world." By the end of his second term? Well, not necessarily. But what matters is that the president has repudiated the failed "realism" that showers billions on a friendly dictator like Egypt's Mubarak and is then surprised when one of his subjects flies a passenger jet into the World Trade Center

The realpolitik that dominated American foreign policy from 1945 until 2001 was implemented for a specific reason: to fight Soviet-style communism and its expansion. It was, by and large, an effective policy, inasmuch as the Soviets were motivated to keep their client states in check, and so were we.

The situation has now changed.

What both the modern Democratic Party and their media lapdogs (or is that the other way around?) have failed to grasp is the nature of the new enemy. (Some of them, apparently, have failed to grasp the fact that there's an enemy at all, but they're the same idiots they've always been, and so are largely ignored except when comic relief is needed.) The new enemy is Islam, and it cannot be contained by the old system. It must be defeated by the ideals of freedom, democracy, and individual worth that our country is founded upon. Only by spreading them can we hope to survive.

George Bush understands this; so does Condi Rice. The liberal media... well, they're a bit slow. Must've been all that LSD.

There For The Taking

Here is yet another reason to de-regulate space as quickly as possible: resources which are unreachable by the zealots of the world. If they can't get to it, they can't destroy it.

The resources are simply sitting there, awaiting harvest. Yes, right now it's a losing proposition to harvest LNG from Titan. However, all we have to do is unchain the corporations, put NASA in the back seat where they belong, and in 100 years, we won't be worrying about whether Earth's natural resources are dwindling or not; there are resources lying all about the universe, waiting for us to harvest them.

Muzzies can't even build automobiles, let alone interplanetary ships. Assuming their moronic hate-cult of a "religion" isn't squashed out of existence by then, they'll be stuck here in the mud.

Robert Heinlein once said "the meek shall inherit the Earth; the rest of us shall go to the stars." The "meek" in this case are the ignorant, the superstitious, and the Ludditic. Islam currently embraces all three of those failings as "values."

Adaptation or extinction; that's the only universal law.

Geek Alert: F4 trailer

The Fantastic Four movie trailer.

$810/hour

That's the fee this repugnant tort lawyer wants to charge the San Francisco school district. There are a couple of particularly choice bits from the article, which I'd like to highlight. Let's leave the slimy lawlizard alone for a minute; we'll get to him shortly.

First, read this sentence and see if anything leaps out at you:

for every $1 million, the district could hire 14 teachers, or 14 social workers, or 14 nurses, or 14 librarians, or 14 counselors, or 14 instructional aides, or 13 bus drivers or a year's worth of school supplies for 25,000 elementary school kids.

So, let me see if I've got this straight: it costs the district $71,428.57 in salary, benefits, and overhead to hire one teacher? Fair enough, though I still think it's a little underpaid, especially in San Francisco. However, their equivalent costs for a bus driver are $76,923.08?! Uh... how does that work? Is there a secret university degree for bus drivers that we're all unaware of? Hell, I think I'll quit engineering and go apply to drive a bus.

Moving along, let's talk about the ludicrous amount of money this slimy little tort lawyer believes himself to be worth. To be exact, $810 per hour. I would like to publicly challenge Mr. Allen to defend himself on this, especially as his firm claims to work pro bono. I cannot imagine the heights of arrogance someone must climb in order to actually believe their time is worth more per hour than the average working American makes in an entire week. If a world-famous neurosurgeon were to tell me that he charges $1000 per hour for his surgical skills, I'd simply nod and say "well, certainly; you do something that extremely few people can do, and it saves lives. You're worth every penny--especially if I'm paying you for a family member or myself."

However, when a tort lawyer who, by definition, produces nothing and contributes nothing to society, says he's worth anything even approaching that amount, I have to assume he's either a stand-up comedian or stark raving mad. Because anyone who actually believes that... Oh, wait. Let's look at a quote from Guy Wallace, one of Mr. Allen's compatriots-in-crime, as he attempts to justify this extortion:

Wallace insisted the district had more than enough resources to cover its legal bills -- including at least $100 million in surplus real estate and $50 million collected from settling other lawsuits in the past year.

So, not only do these people actually believe they are entitled to taxpayer property, and not only are they greedy and unethical, but they're also ghouls, inasmuch as they are preying upon the results achieved by other slimeballs in their so-called "profession." But hey, Mr. Wallace is a regular bargain at only $522/hour.

Tort reform now! Make these thieving bastards start working for a living like the rest of us.

How Do They Do It?

Those wily geniuses at Johns Hopkins have done it again. Through years of intensive research, they have cleverly rooted out the obscure concept that "abused women are less likely to be in a stable relationship."

This follows hot on the heels of their groundbreaking discovery that flying on a stormy night while drunk increases your chances of crashing a plane.

They kindly provided a list of suckers...er, I mean sponsors, of their "research." I suggest we all write to them and request money for "research" into other areas, such as whether or not live people breathe air.

Your Hat's Too Tight

These are protest marchers in Portland, Oregon. They are protesting Bush's inauguration. Look closely, and you'll see that a number of them are actually wearing tinfoil hats.

You can't make this stuff up...

Too Little, Too Late

A year ago, this would've worried me.

However, Burt Rutan and Paul Allen have radically changed the playing field. Capitalism and market forces will prevail in space, just as they have on terra firma.

Don't get me wrong; China is a threat. While they are currently adopting the facade of capitalism for their own purposes, they remain a communist dictatorship. We may yet have to spill blood on their soil before the serpent is slain.

However, I have no doubt that the drive for discovery, the love of risk for its own sake, and the motive of private profit will eventually rule in space. From a purely practical perspective, it cannot be otherwise. While the ChiComs may wear the clothing of entrepreneurs, the underlying concepts are alien to them. Totalitarian communism has failed on Earth, and it will fail miserably in space.

Lazy Americans?

Doesn't look that way to me.

Add to this the fact that many European countries are either contemplating or have already implemented a four day work week, and the picture starts to become clearer. We work; they play. That's why we have nice cars instead of sub-sub-compacts, big houses instead of cramped apartments, and nuclear carriers that actually work.

Apparently, the much-admired qualities of Europeans involve laziness, poor hygiene, and a penchant for whining ceaslessly about anything and everything. That's okay, though; you Euro-weenies go play while we rebuild the world. We'll let you know when it's done.

You'll be on the beach, we presume?

Engineering Alert: Bubble Fusion

Researchers have replicated their previous success with contained fusion reactions.

Bubble fusion utilizes ultrasonic sound waves to create and implode bubbles within a deuterium-acetone bath, producing brief, isolated fusion reactions as the deuterium is compressed during the contraction phase. By varying the rate and frequency of a standing wave, the fusion can be produced at a controlled rate.

This replication was conducted under the scrutiny of much more accurate instrumentation, thus providing internal corroborating evidence, and expanding upon known data. Independent peer review has not yet been conducted. And we do want peer review; remember cold fusion?

45 - Lightly Nerdy

Determine your nerd quotient. Because you just gotta know.

Cowardice

Dishonor.

The most irritating part of the story is that this little pogue isn't even a real soldier; he's a mechanic in a second-tier support company. If he had been deployed as an infantryman, I might have at least understood his refusal, though I certainly wouldn't condone such behavior. However, he's a REMF, and such people are not afforded the benefit of my doubt in matters of honor. They have not earned that right.

This shitbird is nothing but a whiny little coward. DD his ass and be rid of him. Or hang him as a deserter. I don't care, just so long as I don't ever have to associate with him.

Darwin Alert

"Hold my beer and watch this..."

Dumb bitch. Hope she hadn't reproduced yet.

(Hat tip to Harry S. for this one.)

Blanket Party

Having visited the Philippines on several separate occasions, I can't say this sort of thing surprises me at all. It's one of the most bizarre countries in the world; silliness like this runs rampant in their culture.

Most of the taxis look like they were jointly designed by Rube Goldberg, Jackson Pollock, and intoxicated Spanish missionaries. A truck with wet blanket outriggers and a loud P.A. system wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. In fact, most of the citizens will indeed step up onto the curb... just long enough for the "blanket truck" to go by them. Then they'll resume standing in the middle of the street. Herding cats with a water hose would be child's play by comparison.

Coming Soon?

I'm going to have to agree with Mr. Fleischmann on this issue.

We pay to see a movie, not advertisements. This is not like cable or satellite television service, where you're paying a carrier to package and re-transmit a group of channels. A movie theatre ticket is no different than a ticket to the symphony or a play; you're paying for a specific performance, and you have a right to expect it will start in a timely manner.

At the very least, I believe the theatres should be required to post two start times. Perhaps a second, in parentheses, after the first one, indicating the time the actual movie reel will roll. This will mean that advertiser reels and trailers can remain as they are, allowing viewers a choice.

Having said all of that, I would point out that I actually enjoy seeing all the trailers before a movie, and would still show up for them. But other people may wish to use that time in a different manner, and as they are paying for a service, that should be their choice.

You Are Correct, Sir!

The following link leads to what I presume is some of that infamous footage of Muslim terrorist training camps in Afghanistan. In this case, they're training with a M18 57mm recoilless rifle. How do I know they're Muzzies? Because if you listen closely, you'll hear the gunner yell "Allahu Akbar!" ("God is great!") right before he pulls the trigger.

In this instance, I'm inclined to agree.

---> W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! <---

-------------------------> GRAPHIC VIOLENCE <--------------------------

Click here to watch video.


(Thanks to Ernie's House of Whoopass for hosting the video.)

Tanks a lot, buddy!

Hark! A Moron This Way Comes

In case you were wondering what a congenital idiot looks like:

"I sort of felt ashamed, and didn't really want to be associated with being an American,"

Convenient and expedient solution to your conundrum: Leave. Now, please. Write me; I'll send you the airfare.

"I DID NOT VOTE 4 BUSH."

I have conjured a more appropiate motto for you: "I DIDNT PAS FORTH GRAD GRAMER"

Muzzie Musings

Another lovely quote from the land of fish and chips, this time from a delusional British Muzzie:

There is no such thing as an Islamic terrorist. This is deeply offensive.

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain..."

"Slavery is Freedom..."

"There is no spoon..."

Try it on somebody else, Ick-ball; we're not the ignorant peasants you deal with on a daily basis, as you attempt to peddle your sorry excuse for a belief system. We've seen this crap before, and it stinks a little more every time it's exhumed. Save your breath, and hope we don't decide to toss your useless ass in prison where it belongs.

More Stupid Royalty Tricks

Take a gander at this little gem of a quote from the Prince of Wales' public statement, extracted from an article about his retarded son's public stupidity of two days ago:

"As far as the Prince is concerned Harry has apologised for his mistake. He has said sorry and that is the end of the matter."

No, you beak-nosed, simian, inbred half-wit; it's not "the end of the matter." Millions of people died at the hands of the Nazis, and the very least one can expect from you useless, mutt-lipped, money sponging royals is that you teach your null-brained spawn the very simple equivalency of "Nazi=BAD." Spell it out with flashcards and hang it around his scrawny neck if you have to, but make sure he learns it well. The little punk is preparing to go to Sandhurst where he will, ostensibly, learn to be an officer in the British military. That would be the military that protects your privilege to be a pointless social artifact who produces nothing, has no job skills or redeeming qualities, and is a continual burden on the British taxpayer. My dog has more useful functions than you do.

So stop whining and simpering like the no-account, oxygen-thief moron you are, and make the little bastard apologize in front of the Auschwitz memorial site. And go with him, you intellectually-stunted waste of protoplasm; evidently you have some history to catch up on, as well.

I love royalty. Really.

Escaped!

Too bad. Ali G would make such a lovely corpse. (If you don't know who Ali G is, be thankful for your good fortune. I'm still trying to drown the brain cells containing that information.)

Update: Sorry, forgot to tip the hat on this one. Thanks to Pete K.

China Road

China: We swear it'll be used for tourism purposes only. Honest. We won't roll, like, tanks or anything across it. Really! Trust us! Come visit beautiful Tiananmen Square!

Taiwan: Uh... No.

Enough.

Everyone still naive enough to believe that Islam is not the real enemy in this war, please raise your hand. All those who raised their hands, please move to the front of the class, so that you can more easily hear me.

[Roadsign] CAUTION: RANT AHEAD. PROCEED AT OWN RISK.

Anyone who knows me personally, knows my views on religion; I have little use for it. However, there is true black even among shades of black.

Islam is the color of coal.

For all their faults, the other major faiths of the world have adapted to modern times. Buddhism, Christianity, Shintoism, et al, have become, by and large, philanthropic. They do not force their belief systems on anyone; they have realized that profession without belief is meaningless.

Islam is an entirely different color of turd.

I could use any number of single-word descriptions to describe Islam: selfish, misogynistic, barbaric, medieval, power-hungry, imperial... take your pick. A great many of its followers practice female circumcision; that alone is the very definition of barbaric medievalism. Yet the practitioners of this so-called "faith" continue to describe it as a "Religion of Peace." Using that as a yardstick, Genghis Khan was a Catholic saint.

How many people have to die at the hands of fanatical suicide bombers before we publically acknowledge that which is abundantly clear to anyone with functioning senses?

Misogyny, willful ignorance, and blind hatred do not constitute a basis of faith. They constitute a blight on humanity.

Think I'm full of it? Here is a list of proscribed terrorist organizations in the UK, (the U.S. government doesn't have the balls to publish one, apparently). Look at the list and draw your own conclusions.

Enough.

Heil Tropf

I can't decide if the little inbred is stupid, ignorant, or a combination of both. Oh, wait... "stupid and ignorant" is pretty much a comprehensive description of Nazism, isn't it? (And royalty, for that matter.)

Moron.

Target Neutralized

Ever wondered what happens when a HD-P round from a M107 .50-caliber sniper rifle impacts a terrorist's skull? Here you go:

---> W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! <---

-------------------------> GRAPHIC VIOLENCE <--------------------------

If you click on the link below, be absolutely sure you have a strong stomach. I'm serious. If you have ANY DOUBTS WHATSOEVER, do NOT click on the link. We don't want any repeats of the Suicide Video E-mail Incident, do we?

---> W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! ! <---

You have been adequately warned, so I don't want to see any sniveling or sobbing in the comments. Saavy? Click here for photo.

Bruised Left Shoulder

I can’t imagine how large a person’s inferiority complex has to be for them to get to this point. A psychiatrist would have a field day rooting around in this guy's childhood.

It is now becoming “hip” to be a Republican on college campuses. Why? Because they’re in the minority, of course—the same reason it was “hip” to be a liberal Democrat on college campuses in the early sixties. Unfortunately, most major university campuses and faculties have gone all the way to the left--so far left, in fact, that they embrace KGB-trained thugs like Che Guevara and Yasser Arafat as "statesmen." This so-called professor's views are nothing more than thinly-veiled communism, a political and economic philosophy which was proven wildly implausible (through empricial experimentation) during the last century. Yet still he fails to learn the lesson.

The pendulum can’t hang on the left forever. People like this Mr. Jensen are going to be blinking and staring at the bright lights, wondering what happened, as colleges--and the education system in general--swing hard back to the right over the next twenty years. The real irony, of course, is that the Left caused it, just as the Right will cause the next hard swing back to the left. Make no mistake: hard right is no better than hard left, but at least we'll have a few years of intelligent moderation in the middle. Moderation, tolerance and intelligent analysis, after all, are what colleges are supposed to teach, not radical partisan doctrine and wacky political extremism.

Hat tip to Jimmy V. for pointing this one out.

B.F.R.

Warm up the Skyranger...

...and scramble an X-Com response team: there's an underground UFO base on the China-India border! Probably those damned Sectoids again. There were suspected sightings of Mutons in the area, but they turned out to be Indian soldiers in dress uniform.

Civil War maps

The United States Library of Congress has placed online all of the original Civil War era maps in its collection. They are fully browsable, with a detailed zoom function, and can be sorted by place, creator, title, or subject.

Engineering Alert: Tin Whiskers

A very interesting page about the phenomenon of "tin whiskers"--the propensity for tin and tin-alloy metals to induce short circuits via spontaneous metal extrusion. Why is this important? Because the envrio-idiots are pushing hard to get lead removed from solder in worldwide electronics manufacturing. Lead is known to severely inhibit this phenomenon in tin, but many manufacturers are now considering the use of pure tin solder in bulk processes, in order to get the environ-mentals off their backs.

NASA, (for once, doing something useful with my tax money), is trying to get the word out that pure tin is not an acceptable alternative material. This is yet another example of willfully ignorant enviro-nuts pushing an agenda of superstition and unfounded accusation, resulting in real science and engineering facts being suppressed. Lead in solder is about as harmful to humans and the environment as oxygen in air.

Geek Alert: SlikStik CO2

Had to wipe the drool off my keyboard after seeing this little jewel. I could do some great MAME'ing with that... Speaking of which, MAME .90 was just released.

U.N.-fit for Existence

Apparently, the United Nations is both corrupt and incompetent. Try to conceal your astonishment.

Stratellites

This month, a company in Atlanta will launch the world's first stratellite: a communications "satellite" that is actually a large helium dirigible. It hovers in the stratosphere, maintaining station over a fixed terrestrial point. In so doing, it is performing the same function as its vastly more expensive, geosynchronous orbit-based cousin.

Engineering Alert: Nano-crystal infravoltaics

An extremely interesting breakthrough from the University of Toronto. The potential applications are widespread. Even more intriguing, think of what you could do by combining nano-scale infravoltaics with transparent transistors. How about a self-powered, amorphous quantum computer that appears to be nothing more than a pool of water? Or having every painted surface of your house not only change color on demand, but act as solar collector panels to help reduce those sky-high summer electric bills. Want to decorate for Christmas? Sit down at the computer and reprogram the exterior paint. Sure beats climbing up and down a ladder.

Hot airspeed

In a stunning revelation, "researchers" at Johns Hopkins have discovered that you're more likely to crash your private plane if you're flying it on a dark, stormy night while tipping back the hooch.

The deuce you say! I'm so glad those smart, ever-alert folks at Johns Hopkins are parsing the data to find such trends. Why, without their invaluable research, I might have gone to the airport tomorrow, rented a 172, and taken off in an early evening icestorm with a bottle of Jack in my lap. How do they do it? (Get the grants for this stupidity, I mean, because I want one.)

Engineering Alert: BPL research

Engineering researchers at Penn State have discovered the reason that BPL (powerline broadband) data transmission is more limited in practice than it should be in theory, when compared to the relative conductive channel sizes of DSL and cable data transmission. In brief, junctions and branches that are not impedance-matched are causing data reflections that bounce between nodes, severely cluttering the data stream.

By using impedance-matched materials at junctions, and placing CRC-enabled repeaters at regular intervals, data transmissions to private homes in the Gb/sec range should be possible. True, it's still a significant amount of time and money to overhaul large portions of the electrical power infrastructure, but it's a great deal easier and cheaper than running fiber everywhere. Additionally, the lines are ubiquitous even in rural areas.

Full o' what?!

There's a term for this sort of thing: Marketing Research Failure.

UPDATE: 2320 12 JAN 2005:

Apparently, someone at Ikea finally picked upon this little faux-pas, as the link is now dead. Oopsies. "We meant, uh... 'FunFull'. Yeah, that's it."

"Global warming is an article of religious faith."

Senator Inhofe (R-OK) takes the enviro-nuts to task from the floor of the Senate. While I'm often very cynical of those creatures living within The Beltway, I'm occasionally gratified to see that some politicians are still doing their jobs, trying to keep science and reason dominant over superstition and hysteria.

One Klick Drop

Hat tip to Harry S. for sending this along...

Sergeant Herbert B. Hancock, USMC, just received credit for the longest confirmed sniper kill in Iraq: 1,050 yards. With a 7.62mm. Zowie. His instrument of choice, however, is somewhat different from that of the other Herbie Hancock.

Notice also the precise fire for effect from the battalion mortars that killed the remaining active targets. OOOH-RAH, 81's!

As a sidenote, his unit, 1/23, is based out of Houston, down on Old Spanish Trail. So much for the media's whining about incompetent reservists.

Teamwork

Bat-ter up!

The neo-Luddite, Save-The-Earth-From-Humans crowd are spinning around in tight, neurotic little circles again, much like... Well, much like one of those highly inefficient, idiotic wind turbine generators. First the news that the giant windmills were killing birds. Now comes the news that they're also killing bats.

Seems the poor, self-hating enviro-nuts just can't win. Fortunately, I've solved their conundrum. There's a perfect alternative fuel that will make everyone happy: burn hippies. San Francisco alone should provide North America with abundant energy reserves for the next fifty years.

Nerd Alert: C-H imaging toy

NASA has created a new webpage for images from the Cassini-Huygens mission to Saturn. You can search raw image data from the probe, sorting by camera type, target, time index, and distance from target.

Admittedly, it's not quite as good as having my own, personal Constitution-class Heavy Cruiser in which to explore it first-hand, but the shipyards seem to be running a couple of centuries behind schedule on my order. Lazy contractors.

Ingrates on Display

Feel a need to raise your blood pressure precipitously? Read this. Pay special attention to some of the comments from Western "celebrities" such as Bill Bailey, and you'll likely feel a sudden, reflexive need to throttle them with your bare hands.

These people act as if this natural disaster were somehow our fault, as if the region's widespread lack of infrastructure and preparedness can be blamed on the United States, white men, and technology, (not necessarily in that order, of course, since it's a well documented fact that the Evil White Male is responsible for all ill in the world). This past summer, Florida was repeatedly pounded by severe hurricanes, yet only 124 Floridians were killed. Fourteen years ago, my Marine Brigade was diverted to Bangladesh after a similar series of storms in the Bay of Bengal had killed 140,000 people. Difference? Technology and education.

Meanwhile, the United States' efforts to democratize and civilize other countries in order to raise their standard of living--at our own expense in both money and blood--are met with derision and ridicule. It's enough to make a person want to go Roman Empire on them: "Here's a hammer, Achmed. Help us build an aqueduct and sewer for your city, so you're not constantly shitting your guts out from dysentery and spreading disease in all the region about, or we'll run you through with a gladius and tack your head up on a pike at the city gates. And keep your stupid religion to yourself, you smelly fucking barbarian."

Of course, we don't "go Roman Empire on them." We never have, and we never will. We just keep giving aid and comfort, and we keep turning the other cheek--right up until you attack us on our home soil. Then it's your ass. The British learned it, (twice). The Japanese learned it. Now the Muslims are learning it. You'd think they'd save themselves (and us) the trouble by simply reading a few chapters in a history book.

Incoming! (sort of)

Say, is that an arrow sticking out of your cyclic control, buddy?

I would like to take this opportunity, kindly provided by the congenital idiots at the British Broadcasting Corporation, to present an object example of what a "quantum leap of illogic" looks like:

"Officials believe they survived the devastation by using age-old early warning systems.

"They might have run to high ground for safety after noticing changes in the behaviour of birds and marine wildlife.

"Scientists are examining the possibility to see whether it can be used to predict earth tremors in future."

I see where they're going with this; I've seen it before, and it gets on my nerves a little more each time it recurs in the press. Let's examine this in detail, shall we?

What We Don't Know: 1) How they survived; 2) How many survived; 3) Whether they may or may not have known about the impending tsunami; 4) How or if they reacted to such supposed "intuitive knowledge."

What We Do Know: 1) Primitive savages are shooting arrows at a helicopter.

So, what can inductive logic tell the "authorities?" That we should ask primitive savages--who can't even figure out how to combine sulfur, charcoal and saltpeter--if they could tell us how to run for higher ground.

Brilliant! I've seldom seen such criminal abuse of the scientific method.

I've about had enough of this "noble savage" garbage. Can we please let it die with its most recently-deceased, and possibly most infamous advocate, Susan Sontag? It was a worthless, bankrupt concept when it was first conjured from the quasi-intellectual ether, and it remains so today.

The fact is, the means was in place to detect the earthquake, and hence predict the resulting tsunami. What was lacking was a properly structured warning system. The failure was not in technology, but rather in the lack of extant and widely available technology to properly issue the warning. The failure, in short, lies with people--namely, the aforementioned "authorities,"--to do their jobs, not in technology or modern civilization.

Naked bumpkins running for the hills do not invalidate 4,000 years of technological progress, nor are thousands of dead shanty-town dwellers an indictment of modern civilization, despite the best efforts of every enviro-freak and psuedo-intellectual this side of Noam Chomsky to make it so.

Trans-Texas Corridor

Here is some information on the proposed $175 billion (yes, with a "b") Trans-Texas Corridor Project.

I'm split on this one. Part of me thinks it's a great idea, in that it's mostly privately-funded and voluntary usage, providing a long-term economic boost to private contrators and investors, and thus stimulating trade economics in several simultaneous ways. It would also alleviate a lot of the constant re-re-re-construction of major freeways that have become ubiquitous in Texas' major population centers.

On the other hand, I can't shake this nagging feeling that we're fighting yesterday's war. By the time this infrastructure is complete, it could well be out-dated. Might it not be better to invest early in technologies that don't require behemoth infrastructures, such as automated private air traffic systems?

Being in the profession I am, I'm a firm believer in using the proven method over the un-tried, and in 99% of cases it's the right way to go. But sometimes that approach is wrong; you're better off pursuing new, technological, and potentially risky solutions. The Little Voice In My Head, (the one with the wings, not the pitchfork), is telling me something about this Trans-Texas Corridor doesn't feel right.

Man the Clickers

There can be no more doubt: Vincente Fox has pictures of George Bush with farm animals. That's the only possible explanation for the complete silence emanating from the White House in regards to this mind-boggling asininity.

Now can we mine it?

Queen to Queen's Level One

Poor ol' QE2; first she embarrassingly discovers the answer to an age-old question, and now this happens.

God save the Queen('s dignity). Nobody else seems at all concerned with it. But hey, it gave me the opportunity to work a Star Trek pun into my title line, so I'll happily take advantage of it. I'm all heart when it comes to useless royalty.

Blue WienerMobile

Freudian doesn't even begin to cover what's goin' on in this story... Special sauce is extra, evidently.

Second what?

While I was initially angered by the idea of the San Francisco city government banning handguns, after further thought, I've decided it's a great idea. Once the word gets out, criminals nationwide will leave their current cities of residence and flock to Fruitloop Central in droves, secure in the knowledge they can rob, rape and murder in complete safety and on some of the highest-valued property in the world. Essentially, the city government of 'Frisco (I love calling it that, because the residents despise it) has decided to sign the entire city up for VHEMT.

This behavior should, if anything, be encouraged. In fact, I've very generously decided to take up a collection, so we can buy the good citizens of Berkeley some new clothes.

Leaping Timidly Forth

After encouragment from multiple people, (if they don't now wish to remain unknown, they will shortly), I have decided to pinch my nose and begin adding my own little bit of insanity to the World Wide Wreck. You, faithful reader--I use the singular form quite consciously--will suffer semi-daily from my wacky linking, wackier scientific rants, and sociopathic socio-political droolings.

Please take note of the comment system, and feel free to use it. I have an open door policy towards comments: everyone is free to make an ass of themselves. I shan't hog the privilege. Just try not to leave a mess on the street.