Under the Bulb

University entrance exams:

Questions being asked in interviews at Oxford and Cambridge include: 'At what point is a person dead?', 'How does a perm work?' and 'Are you cool?'

Other questions included: 'What percentage of the world's water is contained in a cow' and 'Of all 19th-century politicians, who was most like Tony Blair?'

It may sound a bit goofy, but they have a good reason for it:

More young people than ever were getting A grades at A-level, making it more difficult for leading universities to distinguish between candidates.

She added: "With the increase in the numbers of students excelling at A-level, the Oxbridge interviews are one way of finding out who really cuts the mustard."

That's the politically correct way of saying: "The politicians are corrupting the grade curve by forcing the public schools to hand out A grades like cheap candy. These questions are the only way we can determine who is actually intelligent and who has just played the system."

I think it's a great idea. I'm sure someone will scream discrimination pretty soon, though. Because you can't go around pointing out the self-evident fact that some people are smarter than others; that makes you evil. Or part of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. I think they're pretty much the same.

If you'll excuse me, I must return to spitting babies on pikes. I'm behind quota for this month.