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Friday, October 21, 2016

Life Imitates The Onion

Jealous Little Barry


President Barack Obama on Thursday told a crowd of supporters that the Republican party, thanks to controversial nominee Donald Trump, are now comfortable "having a bromance" with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

It's nothing to do with a "bromance," but it speaks volumes that the occupant of the Oval Office would use such a word. What is between Trump and Putin is the caution and mutual respect which opposing alpha males show toward each other. It seems odd to Obama only because he's no first-hand experience of it.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Meanwhile in China...

China deploys air force on disputed South China Sea island

China is moving quickly to deploy military forces and build bases -- including airstrips -- on various islands in international waters. Essentially, they're claiming bully squatting rights because there's no one in the hemisphere with the means to directly oppose them.

When they tried this sort of thing in the past, a strong U.S. Navy has combined with competent leadership in the White House to waggle a finger and stare them down. We now have neither of those things, so the ChiComs are taking advantage to expand their empire -- which is not imperialism, you understand. No, sir. It just looks, walks and quacks like an imperial duck.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Rat Trap

They probably got a few, too. I would say this further reduces my opinion of the human race, but said opinion is actually sitting pretty on the bottom right now.

Davis, your department should try this out and let us know how many y'all bag-n-tag. Assuming you actually want those filthy creatures in your nice clean jail, of course. We understand if the fumigation is more trouble than the effort is worth.

So... now what?

Tuesday, October 18, 2016


Idiocracy was an amusing movie. The reality is... less amusing. Unless she were to light up a cigarette, of course. THAT would be amusing.

Millennial Malaise

Slackers on parade:

Not only do Gen Y Americans lag far behind their overseas peers by every measure, but they even score lower than other age groups of Americans.

Take literacy, for instance. American Millennials scored lower than their counterparts in every country that participated except Spain and Italy. (Japan is No. 1.) In numeracy, meaning the ability to apply basic math to everyday situations, Gen Yers in the U.S. ranked dead last.

Okay, but what about making smart use of technology, where Millennials are said to shine? Again, America scored at the bottom of the heap, in a four-way tie for last place with the Slovak Republic, Ireland, and Poland.

How did this happen? How did we go from overwhelming superpower to sniveling cunts in little more than the span of a generation? Easy answer: Democrats. They've ruined our school systems with their constant meddling. The graduates have no critical thinking skills and cry for "safe spaces" every time someone "triggers" them by saying anything they don't like. But hey, they have huge egos! That's because they've been told from the day they were born that they were special and could be anything they wanted to be -- and that's a stinkin' load of bullshit if ever there was one.

The Millennials were sold a bill of goods. The one thing they were never taught is the one thing they most needed to hear: you have to work hard to get what you want. You have to take life by the throat, beat its head against the wall a few times and threaten to disembowel the fucker, otherwise it will run roughshod over you. That is real life; anything else is childish fantasy. But now we're saddled with an entire generation who can't spell or apply mathematics and quiver in fear at the mention of any word they don't like to hear but who think they deserve a six-figure salary for holding a bachelor's degree in interracial lesbian basketweaving.

The destruction of the public school system through ever-increasing governmental control has combined with the blinkered idea that everyone has to go to college to create a generation who are incapable of pulling their own weight. This is not an unanticipated outcome. Rather, it's exactly what the leftists want: a lack of independence coupled with low initiative and absolute trust in the state. The Millennials aren't an accident; quite the opposite.

Can it be fixed? Well, sort of. More and more people will send their kids to private schools. As with all of their social engineering nonsense, this will have exactly the opposite effect desired by the rank-and-file progtards. The result will be an ever-increasing gap between the haves and have-nots: either mommy and daddy can afford a private school where you'll be hit with a ruler when you talk about playing video games for a living or you'll end up in the public school system and become a government drone with an inflated sense of your own worth -- if you're lucky. America will descend into a socialist hell similar to modern-day Europe while the Chinese, Japs and Koreans ride the rising tide of Asian capitalism to rule the world. I wish them good fortune.

Good job, leftoids. Everything you touch turns to turds. Perhaps one day the human race will wake up and realize, once and for all, that socialism, enforced equality and big government nannyism are antithetical to human dignity. Maybe, but I doubt it.

Hat-tip to Mad Builder

Nobody this cool....

Red Space

China launches 30-day manned mission to test space station

Yeah, that's right: the Chinks have a space station. They put it up while our media was focused on trying to keep everyone from noticing that Hillary is dying of some dread disease. Meanwhile, U.S. astronauts are hitching a ride with Russkies (who are preparing to invade Eastern Europe, by the way) to our overpriced space habitrail.

Our one ace in the hole is the private space programs, three of which currently show real promise. If they can make it work, we'll leapfrog ahead of the Chinese. Yeah, it'll be American corporations rather than the U.S. government, but that's the way it should have been all along. Besides, do you really want today's government bureaucrats in charge of anything more complicated than running a city swimming pool? Most of them can't even keep the fucking roads in driveable condition nowadays, and NASA has a mandated focus on making muzzies feel good about their utter lack of accomplishments. We'd better hope men like Allen, Bezos and Carmack continue spending their billions on building better rockets, otherwise you'll be enrolling your grandkids in Chinese language classes.


Success is simply a matter of leveraging your assets, sweetheart. Try a stripper pole.

Monday, October 17, 2016



In 1987 while on my first deployment to CAX in 29 Palms, I attended an award ceremony wherein a staff sergeant from battalion supply was awarded a Bronze Star. Specifically noted in the citation was his diligence in keeping the battalion supplied with toilet paper and lister bags under adverse conditions. I guess being in the middle of California qualifies as "adverse conditions" when you're receiving a gimme medal to pad your career. I'll bet you a paycheck he's one of those guys driving around with a "Bronze Star recipient" license plate on his car.


This AMC Pacer from the movie "Wayne's World" recently sold at auction for $37,400. I feel safe in saying that's the most money any Pacer has ever or will ever fetch.

Friday, October 14, 2016

i r syuns teknishun

You're probably familiar with the various "cycle share" programs which allow a research group to use your spare computer cycles to analyze complex data. I suppose it's nice and all, but it's pretty non-interactive... by which I mean boring. The group behind the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (mercifully referred to as LIGO) has a better idea: they want to use your brain, not just your computer cycles.

Gravity Spy is an online service where they first teach you how to identify glitches (errors) in spectrometer data, then give you a work stream to start helping them do so. The idea is that humans can see subtle variations in patterns and classify them intuitively, while computers struggle with such "fuzzy logic." By lending your animal brain's instincts, you're helping the project's computers learn to make those inferences as well, thus increasing the long term efficiency of the project. However, there are a LOT of glitches to identify, so they're using the ol' mindshare technique to shoulder the workload. If you're interested in being a part-time cosmological technician, put your pocket protector in place and click on the link.

What's that? What are they studying, you ask? Gravity waves. You probably shouldn't think too much about that. Technician, remember?

Fuck your cage

This is why you shouldn't play with sharks...

Aegis Performs as Advertised

Seems the Iranian-backed Yemenis are getting uppity. In the last week, they've fired at least three shore-based cruise missiles at the USS Mason, an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer in the Persian Gulf. The automated Aegis defense system swatted them out of the air with contemptuous ease, of course. The Burke-class was made to defend a carrier task group against Soviet saturation strikes; a few ragheads launching second-rate shore missiles directly at them is like a skinny 13 year-old girl trying to put a beatdown on an NFL linebacker.

Apparently someone in Washington found a pair of balls laying around and played with them, because yesterday the Mason and her sister ship the Nitze responded with multiple Tomahawk strikes against several shore-based radar installations suspected of controlling the missiles. Score: Yemen - 0, US Navy - A Bunch

The Saudis, concerned the flow of oil money from the United States might be interrupted and not being hamstrung by niceties like a press whining about "collateral damage," simply bombed the shit out of a funeral in the Yemen capital. It's actually pretty smart: kill one well-known terrorist, wait for the others to gather for the funeral and BOOM. Well played, Saudis. Whatever my opinion of their country, (it's not at all positive, in case you're in doubt), I do enjoy seeing a good attack plan well-executed.


Domestic Violence

Friday Timewaster

After two decades, I've pretty much given up on ever seeing a quality reboot of the legendary LucasArts PC game TIE Fighter. Apparently Disney is content to squander their dearly-purchased IP on sappy knock-off films targeted at transgendered Millenial race-whiners who need safe spaces in which to watch their adventure movies. Fortunately for we geezer gamers, there's Dark Side. It's a pretty good knock-off of the old TIE Fighter game, made for the Android OS. It lacks the energy management complexities and storyline missions of the original, but it's got the bright green pew-pew and it's shiny and the tilt control actually works (with a little tweaking to your preferences). Oh, and you get to blow up Rebel Scum! How can you resist that?

Of course, if you happen to be Rebel Scum (boo-HSSS) you can fly from the other side of the fight with X-Wing Flight.

Sorry, Fruity people... no Apple versions of this one. THE MACHINE TAKEOVER HAS BEGUN. BOW TO YOUR ANDRO--zzzxt

Sorry about that. Glitch in the Matrix.



Thursday, October 13, 2016


More of that crazy German guy with the slingshots. Now he's built one to launch bowling balls. Sumpin' definitely ain't right with that boy...