Now in "Gangsta Pink"

I guess he's very lightly complected.

No Cake for You!

Stormtroopers shut down a birthday party in what's left of England:

Riot police stormed a man's 30th birthday barbecue for 15 guests because it was advertised as an "all-night" party on Facebook.

Four police cars, a riot van, and a force helicopter were dispatched to a privately-owned field in a small village near Sowton, Devon in the UK on Saturday, ordering the party shut down or everyone would be arrested.

Andrew Poole, a coach driver from Sowton, said his birthday barbecue was busted up before they even had a chance to plug the music in...

"What effectively the police did was come in and stop 15 people eating burgers," Poole said

The event was shuttered under section 63 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994, which grants police powers to remove persons attending or preparing for a "rave" (defined as playing amplified music "wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats," during the night).

Yes, birthday barbeques for 30 year olds are so similar to raves full of coked-up 16 year olds, I can see where the police became confused.

"The decision to close down a rave or illegal music festival is not taken lightly," she said.

"On this occasion, we were extremely concerned how the event had been advertised on the internet as an all-night party and it was therefore necessary to take the appropriate steps."

The spokeswoman added if the party hadn't been stormed [by] the officers, riot police and accompanying helicopter, "far more resources would have been used to police the event and there would have been considerable disruption to neighbouring properties."

I anticipate Great Britain will complete its conversion into an oligarchic police state in something less than twenty years. How quick and subtle is tyranny...

Fountain of Youth

The last member of the original WWI RAF died this past weekend:

[Henery] Allingham, who was the world's oldest man when he died Saturday at 113, attributed his remarkable longevity to "cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild women."

I'm golden.

(Well, except for the wild wimmin bit. Left them behind years ago, thank the gods. Explaining to the police at 3 a.m. why your girlfriend is running naked through the apartment complex, screaming at the top of her lungs that you're a "m$#%f*^king c&%khead asshole," is not conducive to long-term bliss -- believe it or not.)

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(Hat-tip to Derek M.)

For Sale

Vizigoth is selling his china cabinet...

"Keep England Beautiful" campaign kicks off

The British have discovered a purpose for Brazil:

Brazilians are kicking up a stink over 1,200 tonnes of British garbage, including toilet seats, dirty nappies and used syringes, that are rotting at two southern ports after arriving in container ships.

"We will ask for the repatriation of this garbage," said Roberto Messias, the president of Brazilian environment agency IBAMA. "Clearly, Brazil is not a big rubbish dump of the world."

Au contraire, Roberto. Just spread it around on the streets of Rio and no one will know the difference.

Friday Timewaster

Wind down your work week by contracting a virus.

Is it available "pre-smashed"?

Some company of clueless tech-geeks is trying to market a wearable keyboard for military applications. The object in question:



That little thing? Ha! Not even close to grunt-proof. That won't last fifteen minutes in the field.

What makes me say this? Oh, I don't know... call it a hunch.

Mirdle

Yes, a mirdle. It's not an exotic bird from deep in the Amazon basin. It is, in fact, a man-girdle. Not to be confused with a mangina, though there may be some disturbing relationship I'd as soon not discover.

Sez subby: "Or you could just get off the couch."

Yes... or in my case, the bar stool. But I shan't be wearing a mirdle; it takes years of dedication to nurture a proper beer belly, after all. One must display it proudly -- though by preference fully clothed.
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(Hat-tip to Shark)

Making hate pay

Every morning I get up, fix myself a refreshing beverage, and sit down and peruse the Web for any interesting tidbits. I read the news and some political commentary. I read a little from both sides of the aisle, but mostly conservative stuff since much of it jives with my political beliefs. Most of it out there is just political flotsam and not worth your time. Too much of it, I believe, is extreme and only written to further aspirations and line wallets. Much of it is poisonous and to the extreme. Read the comments on a few to see how much hate these things foment on both sides.
This morning I saw an article titled "Subsidized by Hate". It piqued my interest and I read this

My website is different. It is funded solely by feminists, gay activists, and assorted political leftists. Since that may sound counterintuitive, please let me explain.
On April 30th, my speech at UMASS-Amherst was interrupted repeatedly by protestors. This is commonplace at UMASS, which has among the rudest, and, arguably, least intelligent leftists of any American campus. But my response to leftists has always been one that focuses on humor, rather than anger.

When I returned from Massachusetts my good friend Jimmy Weaver of Point Blank Advertising found a way to capitalize on the hate. That’s when he thought of the “I Hate Mike Adams” bumper sticker campaign. I didn’t think it would be effective but I was wrong.

The idea was to set up a table and sell the bumper stickers to protestors who come to disrupt my speeches. We figured we could get a conservative student to sell the stickers at a table with a big “I HATE MIKE ADAMS” logo draped across the front. We were betting that most of the protestors would be too stoned to realize that they were actually funding my website with the profits - $1 per bumper sticker - derived from their own anger.

At my first speech, I managed to get rid of 100 “I Hate Mike Adams” stickers in just twenty minutes. The campaign has been a huge success. Capitalism is a beautiful thing!

I love it. If they are going to hate you anyway, why not turn a profit from it. I will have the first Hate Apathy Curve bumper stickers out within a few weeks :)

Coolest Star Trek Toys of the 70s

I owned quite a few of these as a child.

The root site, plaidstallions.com, is a smorgasbord of seventies kitsch. If you grew up in the seventies, it's a veritable time machine.

UPDATE: For those of you who grew up with me in Pasadena, Texas... I was looking through some other stuff on the site and found this page. Scroll about two-thirds down the page and you'll find photos of an old Game Player mall store that looks to me like it's probably the one in the old Pasadena Town Square, though it's labeled as being in "Houstan" [sic].

Below it are photos of the Game Peddler, (also in "Houstan"), which may be the one that was in Almeda mall, though I don't have a very clear memory of where it was located in that legendary edifice.

Wow. I think I've overdosed on nostalgia after seeing those photos.

the REAL shadow government

Forget the Masons, Opus Dei, or the Jewish mafia. Here is the truth about the new world order

If you've ever wondered who's in control, you or your cat, a new study points to the obvious. It's your cat.

The great cat conspiracy has been revealed. Prepare for the coming revolution.

It's GRAPHENE!!!

Ta-daaaaah!

Imagine a carbon sheet that's only one atom thick but is stronger than diamond and conducts electricity 100 times faster than the silicon in computer chips.

"It is the thinnest known material in the universe, and the strongest ever measured..."

"A few grams could cover a football field..."

It laughs at the antics of mere steel. It is so attractive, mirrors are shamed by their inability to properly reflect it. It is stronger, faster, smarter, and better than you. It is... the most interesting material in the world.

(With apologies to the Dos Equis folks; I actually rather like those advertisements.)

Yard Maintenance

Off the lawn, ya little bastards!

A US man has agreed to take anger management classes for blaring a pornographic soundtrack to chase away kids playing outside his home.

Michael Buck was arrested May 31 at his upscale Philadelphia cul-de-sac after irate neighbors told police they could hear the sexually explicit audio a block-and-a-half away.

A bit cheeky of him. I prefer a more subtle method.

Penguin Patrol

Darwin sighs:

Snipers will stand guard over Sydney's endangered penguins until vicious attacks on them stop, wildlife experts say.

The National Parks and Wildlife Service has employed marksmen to protect the colony of about 120 little penguins at Manly and North Head for "as long as necessary".

Nine of the penguins have been mauled to death on the area's beaches in the past fortnight, the most recent at Quarantine Beach on Saturday.

It is believed foxes or dogs are responsible.

It's all about natural selection and ensuring Mother Nature is allowed to take her course without the taint of human tampering -- unless we're talking about a cute, cuddly widdle animal, then it's out the window with all that evolution guff.

Since I was able to read and comprehend anything more complex than "See Spot Run," I have believed in the future of the human race and its innate ability to overcome even seemingly insurmountable problems. Science and logic, I came to believe, were capable of overcoming any difficulty if properly applied. Despite the obstacles created by such inanities as religion and social collectivism, I've never doubted that, in the long view, the race would persevere and conquer all challenges.

Recently, however, I've found myself forced to modify that opinion slightly: Humanity is a seething mass of stupid. I want off this planet.

Turnpike Suds

Beer!

A New Jersey brewery is using the state's congested and often-derided turnpike to promote its beer...

Cherry Hill-based Flying Fish Brewing Co. (motto: "Proudly Brewed in New Jersey: You Got a Problem with That?") has undertaken an ambitious project of releasing a special beer in honor of turnpike exits, one at a time.

The beers are being made in limited runs and sold in 750 milliliter wine-size bottles.

The first, a Belgian-style ale, came out earlier this year in honor of Exit 4, the exit nearest the suburban Philadelphia industrial park that Flying Fish calls home.

The next beer, Exit 11 Hoppy American Wheat Ale, is scheduled to start hitting bars and stores in the region on July 15. The intersection of styles is a tribute to Woodbridge's exit, where the Turnpike meets the Garden State Parkway.

Naturally the pack of rabid shrews over MADD are... well, mad. As they always are. At everything. But what kinda caught me by surprise was the fact that the Turnpike Authority is making a stir about it:

Joe Orlando, a spokesman for the New Jersey Turnpike Authority, said it's a bad idea to associate a highway with alcohol. Flying Fish has answered the authority's concerns with disclaimers that the beer isn't endorsed by the authority.

"There's been a brokered peace here," Orlando said. "But don't expect to see it in any of our rest areas."

Uh, okay. Are you really concerned about it, or are you just trying to keep the shrews off your doorstep? I'm betting the latter.

Speaking of...

That doesn't satisfy Mindy Lazar, executive director of New Jersey's chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. "The combination of a roadway and advertising for any kind of a beer doesn't make any kind of sense," she said. "This is almost a mockery."

That, of course, is the difference between them and me: I prefer to mock you openly.

Mueller said initially he wanted to have each beer's alcohol content match the exit number — Exit 6 beer, for instance, would have 6 percent alcohol. Most beers have about 5 percent alcohol.

"But then we thought pretty quickly that Exits 1, 2 and 3 were going to be pretty boring for brewing, and then Exits 16, 17 and 18 were going to be really dangerous."

Eighteen percent beer? Tell me more, please.

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(Hat-tip to Kirk M.)

The Ugly French

The smelly cheese-eating surrender monkeys come in last:

French tourists are the worst in the world, coming across as bad at foreign languages, tight-fisted and arrogant...

Je suis choqué!

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(Hat-tip to Kirk M.)

Darwin Loves...

...foreplay.

Not strictly a Darwin incident since he had an accomplice in stupidity, but the extra credit for creativity brings it up to snuff. Heh. Get it? Snuff? I slay me.

And if anyone knows what's involved in "dirty cowboy," please keep it to yourself.

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(Hat-tip to Shark)

Friday Timewaster

Tiny bubbles...

Wite Howse Pres Reeleese

Apparently, they forget to use spell check.

Misspellings continued to plague the Obama administration on Thursday, after two more releases containing errors were sent to reporters in the last 24 hours.

After misspelling the president's name as "Barak Obama" yesterday on an official document sent to reporters, the General Services Administration messed up another message when announcing it had awarded an $18 million contract to redesign the website keeping track of spent stimulus dollars.

"Recvoery.gov Version 2.0 $18 Million Contract Awarded," the release's subject line read. ("Recovery" was spelled correctly in the body of the email.)

The White House also sent out a release containing a typo in its joint statement from White House and the spokesman for U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown about the leader between Obama and the British PM today.

"The Prime Minister wlecomed the President's plans for a nuclear security conference in 2010," the sentence read.

Dumb and Dumber

After watching the great success the UK has had in eliminating violent crime by banning guns, the Irish are now following suit. Not that guns were ever easy to get legally in Ireland to begin with, but now they’ll be nearly impossible. Hey, this is the same country that outlawed condoms too.

The President, Mary McAleese is expected to sign the Criminal Justice Miscellaneous Bill into law this week after the Dail passed the final stages of what has become known as the handgun bill. The new law which severely limits the licensing of handguns was initiated when Deputy John Deasy repeatedly raised the issue of handguns in the Dail.

Responses to a series of Dail questions over a number of months asked by Deputy Deasy revealed that the number of handguns legally licensed had increased six-fold in the last four years. In 2004 no handguns were legally held and licensed. At the start of 2009 that number had risen to approximately 1,800 handgun licenses. He said, “I’ll never forget the first time I read those figures out on the Dail floor. The reaction was one of total disbelief. It proved nobody was aware of what had occurred.”

Deasy maintains it was a situation that was never intended to happen. He said, “A number of High Court cases were taken against the Gardai by handgun owners, one of them against the Garda Superintendent in Waterford. The ruling in the Waterford case went against the Gardai, and along with similar decisions it had the effect of liberalising the licensing of handguns throughout the country.”

The bill which passed the Dail last week completely restricts handgun ownership apart from those handguns used for participating in top class target shooting competitions such as the Olympics. It is also intended that all those existing license holders will have to reapply to keep their handguns. From now on the ultimate discretion over licensing will lie with the Garda Commissioner and anyone who maintains their license will be required to become a member of a registered target shooting club. The legislation strictly prohibits practical shooting or combat simulation shooting.

So you see, with almost 2000 legal pistols in the entire country, their government had to do something quick!

Zoom Zoom Stadium

Welcome to beautiful new Mazda Zoom-Zoom Stadium, home of the Hiroshima Carp. Seriously. Must be the residual radiation.

To be fair, I suppose it's no more ridiculous than Minute Maid Park, but... the Carp?

Obama stock ticker

This site will let you see the daily approval/disapproval numbers of the President.He is currently at 51-48 approval, but this one also breaks down strongly approve/disapprove ratings where he is currently 30 Strongly approve and 38 strongly disapprove, his lowest since taking office.

As everyone knows, or should know, I am not a big fan of our current President. I believe him to be leaning way to far to Government control of our economy and our lives.That being said, I want to let it be known that during the election, I was speaking to a Dem pollster and told her at that time that I believed that whoever won, would only serve for one term. I based this statement on the fact that the downturn in the economy would hurt whoever won and I did not think the policies of either candidate lent themselves to stimulating the economy.

The government cannot create jobs or ramp up spending without long term effects on the overall economy. Our current system of government does not create wealth, so for it to give money or create a job, it must first take the money from someone. Eventually the huge amount of spending that has occurred over the last 50 years is going to come back and bite these people on the ass. Currently they have been able to push the due date away and tax and borrow and "Enron" the books. Buying votes with each new program and creating zero liability voters with each new subsidy(zero liability voter: someone who receives government money and benefits and pays nothing into the system). Eventually we will reach a tipping point and then we will be in the same boat as California is right now. That day will come sooner than later I think.