Nutless

Here's a great use of taxpayer money:

The team behind a £37,500 project to make music from falling nuts have been forced to adapt plans after discovering that they had chosen a nutless tree. The Bristol Ensemble, the city's professional orchestra, dreamt up the TreeSong project last autumn and were granted thousands of pounds from the Bristol Green Capital project fund. For the past few days they have been wiring a 100-year-old beech tree on Durham Down with sensors and strings which would make a noise when they were hit by falling beech nuts. However, the team were devastated to learn they had singled out a beech which was not producing the all-important nuts.

Oh, there are plenty of nuts in this tale. Remember, while you're getting up before dawn so you can work 12 hours a day and watch in frustration as half of your paycheck is confiscated by the government, millions of retarded fucking "artists" just like these are busy dreaming up the most idiotic ways imaginable to spend it.