<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://draft.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d9924031\x26blogName\x3dApathy+Curve\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://apathycurve.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://apathycurve.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8459845989649682690', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Bean Butts

How 'bout a nice bag o' joe?

Mike and Trina swear by their coffee. He enjoys a fine espresso grind, which is "on the cold side"; she prefers a "saturated blend" that is "warm and thicker."

The St. Petersburg, Fla., couple refuses to drink the caffeinated beverage, which they say is bad for their health. Instead, they use it as an enema. They each have at least 100 coffee enemas a month, 6,000 in all since their addiction began two years ago.


Dear Florida: it's not enough you've got your own Fark tag? What are you doing, raising these nutcases in state-run creches in some misguided attempt to create the perfect moron? These people are SHOOTING COFFEE UP THEIR ANUSES. VOLUNTARILY.

Just what the fuck?

posted by Jar(egg)head at 09:58

2 Comments:

Blogger Banduar said...

You may be unfamiliar with the migratory patterns of the North American Liberal Yankee. In Summer, they nest in the region around the North American Great Lakes. Being physically (and mentally) underdeveloped, they flock to the southern portions of the continent during Winter, especially the large peninsula at the southeastern corner. There they interpose themselves into the indigenous population, frequently displaying behavior patterns atypical to the region. Examples of such aberrant behavior include interfering with local migration patters, flocking to and overwhelming local watering holes, participating in local elections (as well as elections in their home states) and, well, shooting coffee up their anuses.

Unfortunately, local hunting regulations prohibit the natives from effectively managing these insidious, migratory pests.

14:46  
Blogger Jar(egg)head said...

I suggest poisoning the watering holes. This will have the secondary benefit of eliminating the town drunks.

You might also consider humane cage traps to facilitate relocation of these varmints back to their native habitat. I suggest baiting them with food stamps. And if the loaded cages happen to fall off of the truck while going over a tall bridge... well, stuff happens. A lot.

08:37  

Post a Comment

<< Home