All you need is love... and a snazzy gown

The UK, well known for having one of the worst medical systems in the industrialized world, has a plan to fix it all:

Stylish hospital gowns that snap down the side were unveiled in Britain on Tuesday, intended to replace those shapeless cloth sacks with useless ties that flash open at the worst possible moments.

Designers were given 25,000 pounds ($37,500) each to develop prototypes for products that would increase patient dignity. The plan, backed by the government and the Design Council, aimed to use Britain's design talent to improve its oft-criticized health system.

"Fine feathers make fine birds," said de Lisi, who has made dresses for stars including Kate Winslet. "If you look good, you'll feel good."

New pharmaceuticals? Bah! Who needs them? Innovative surgery techniques? Over-rated, I say! Timely treatment? Nut up, you whiner! You'll get your life-saving procedure when we're damned well ready to give it to you, and not once second earlier.

But look here: fashionable new hospital gowns! You're cured! All hail socialized medicine.