Not Cute and Cuddly

A less-than-fun day at the zoo:

One zoo visitor was mauled to death and two others severely injured when a Siberian tiger escaped from its grotto at the San Francisco Zoo early Christmas evening and went on a bloody rampage in front of terrified zoo patrons.

The tiger - the same animal that chewed a keeper's arm during an attack last December - was shot to death outside a zoo cafe by four officers who managed to distract the animal as it mauled one of its victims.

After the initial attack, the tiger proceeded about 300 yards to the Terrace Cafe restaurant, where it assaulted the other two victims with its claws and teeth.

Guess he was looking for the dessert cart.

On Dec. 22, 2006, the 350-pound Tatiana chewed the flesh off Lori Komejan's arm during a public feeding demonstration. A state investigation later ruled that the zoo was at fault for the attack because of the way the cages were configured.

The public feedings at the Lion House resumed in September after about $250,000 in safety upgrades.

That worked out well.

The animal...did not leave the grotto through its only door, zookeepers said. The grotto is surrounded by a 15-foot-wide moat and a 20-foot-high wall.

"We don't know how it was able to get out," said Robert Jenkins, director of animal care at the zoo. "The tiger should not have been able to jump (out). This is the first thing we will be investigating."

Yeah, you do that, Bobby-boy.

Let me give you a hint: nobody told the tiger it couldn't jump out. That's because it's a freakin' tiger. They eat things... including people. If they have to jump 20 feet to do it, then they'll jump 20 feet.

I once saw video footage of an adult Bengal tiger stalking an ungulate which was standing in about three feet of water in a small pond. The tiger moved so fast, it literally ran about 30 feet across the surface of the water and didn't sink until its jaws were around the throat of its prey.

Tigers don't read books about zoo design philosophy and they don't understand physics equations. They just eat things. So stop putting them in zoos and leave them in the wild -- where they belong.