Ejection Seat

Now here's something you don't see every day:

600 lbs. woman survives getting thrown through sunroof

Perhaps "squirted" would be a better choice of verb?

Paramedics initially tried to fly Matthews to Tampa General Hospital, but her weight, estimated at 600 pounds, made it impossible.

If you've become so heavy that a helicopter isn't a viable transport option, it may be time to back away from the buffet.