Rule Changes

Another Islamic fatwa--which may be satire, but it's very difficult to tell with Muzzies, as they are apparently born without a sense of humor--has been issued, outlining new rules for soccer when played between members of the faith. Among the revised regs, we find this gem:

9. You should spit in the face of whoever puts the ball between the posts or uprights and then runs in order to get his friends to follow him and hug him like players in America or France do, and you should punish him, for what is the relationship between celebrating, hugging and kissing and the sports that you are practising?

Note to future fatwa writers: Please do not mix France and America in the same sentence in a positive mutual connotation. We Americans find it extremely offensive. Thank you.

Just so we're crystal clear on this point, the "hugging and kissing" part is in reference to the French. We Americans don't do that sort of thing--unless it's the women's soccer team, of course, in which case such behavior is strongly encouraged, along with stripping. We like to calling it "Hamm-ing Around."