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Monday, October 10, 2005

Gargamel Strikes Back

The United Nations has finally done something right: they carpet-bombed those annoying, neo-commie Smurfs. And pissed off a bunch of Belgians in the process. Two goonie birds with one bomb.

Tiny Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

"We wanted something that was real war - Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head -but they said no."

I'm impressed. I didn't think the U.N. had it in them. But, ah...

The film has won tentative approval from the official Smurf fan club. A spokesman said: "I think it will wake up some people. It is so un-Smurf-like, it might get people to think."

I'm not sure which is more frightening: the fact that the official Smurf fan club likes it, or the fact that an official Smurf fan club exists.

Either way, it's a happy outcome. I love the smell of charred Smurf in the morning.

posted by Jar(egg)head at 09:32

2 Comments:

Blogger Fundy said...

According to the UN Peace keeping standards, to ensure that the full effect of the film is reached, they must show the Blue Helmets of Peace, raping the lone female of that community.

11:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I for one was amazed, like the author that there is indeed a smurf fan club. I must admit, it was aboout the only thing I took away from the news piece.

10:16  

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