We're All Gonna DIIIIIEEEEE!!!1

Of thirst, to be precise:

Twenty-one of the world’s 37 largest aquifers — in locations from India and China to the United States and France -- have passed their sustainability tipping points, meaning more water is being removed than replaced from these vital underground reservoirs. Thirteen of 37 aquifers fell at rates that put them into the most troubled category.

“The situation is quite critical,” said Jay Famiglietti, senior water scientist at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory and the University of California Irvine-led studies’ principal investigator.

Critical! Critical, he says! So because California is in a drought, the situation is suddenly "critical"? Texas just went through an extended drought. Our aquifers were down below 10%. There were doomsters preaching from the streetcorners (well, from universities, which amounts to the same thing) how we'd sucked dry all the water like the disgusting parasites we are and that we were going to reap our just reward for causing global warming and using up all the water. The gloom at places like University of Texas was palpable. All was coming to end.

Then, earlier this year, it rained for a couple months straight. Well, wouldya lookit that?! The aquifers are back up to 80%+. Whoulda thunk?

So exactly how are they determining all these aquifers are drained? Let's take a look:

The satellites detected subtle changes in the gravitational pull of the earth’s surface. Water is exceptionally heavy and exerts a greater pull on orbiting spacecraft. As the satellites flew overhead, slight changes in aquifer water levels were charted over a decade, from 2003 to 2013.

Seriously? And your corroborating evidence to support the accuracy of this dubious method of measurement is where? Oh, right: confirmation bias.

“The water table is dropping all over the world,” Familglietti said. “There’s not an infinite supply of water.”

Actually, Jay old boy, there pretty much is an "infinite supply of water." It's a closed loop. Water isn't boiling off into space. We have this little thing called an atmosphere which prevents that. You may have heard about it. Water is conserved within that atmosphere. It may be salinated in an ocean or locked up in a glacier or part of an animal's body, but it's the same amount of water on the planet. It's merely a matter of distribution.

If you want to argue for overpopulation, there's some validity to it. But the population in Western countries (i.e., the civilized world) has been decreasing recently. So you tell me, Jay: if too much water is locked up inside human bodies, where is the problem? There's some easy math to be done here. Admittedly it will lead you to a politically incorrect conclusion, but nature and logic don't give a damn about your politics.


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