Bilious Brew

‘Crocodile poison’ beer kills nearly 70 at funeral in Mozambique

At least 69 people died after drinking poisonous beer at a funeral in southeastern African country Mozambique, health authorities confirmed. The beer was locally brewed and is believed to have been poisoned with crocodile bile during the funeral.

Police investigation has discovered that the beer was likely poisoned with crocodile bile during the funeral. Those who drank the beer in the morning of the funeral day reported no signs of illness, while those drinking it in the afternoon got sick, according to authorities.

There are three important pieces of information here:

1) Crocodile bile is poisonous. Handy data, in the right circumstances. The article helpfully provides a photo of a crocodile.

2) The beer in Mozambique is so bad, you can't tell when somebody's poured crocodile bile into it. I've no idea what crocodile bile tastes like, nor have I any intention of finding out, but I'm pretty certain it doesn't taste like beer. Well, not good beer, at any rate. Perhaps one of you intrepid readers should sample some Mozambique beers and get back to us. You know, for science.

3) Clearly, the culprit was in the morning crowd. Show up for the morning visitation, drink the free beer, poison the rest before you leave, and... voila! 69 more funerals, all with free beer! Genius.