Swingin'
4 teens arrested on suspicion of using golf club to kill 920 chickens
920 / 4 = 230 swings per kid
Par 72, (two-putting) = 36 full-force swings
230 / 36 = 6.38 rounds of golf
In just a couple of hours, no less. That's assuming they actually contacted a chicken every time they swung, but I think that unlikely. As anyone who has ever tried to chase one down will tell you, chickens are quick little bastards. So maybe more like 8 or 9 rounds? That takes quite a bit of stamina. Perhaps they should try out for Q-School.
Alas, they are in California, the state where animals are more important than people. It's likely they'll be sentenced to a thousand years in prison. Or for more harsh punishment, they'll be sent to San Francisco and forced to attend emotional counseling, probably with an alternate-certification psychoanalyst of non-determinate gender. A few days of of that should cause them to claw out their own eyes and pierce their eardrums with icepicks.
920 / 4 = 230 swings per kid
Par 72, (two-putting) = 36 full-force swings
230 / 36 = 6.38 rounds of golf
In just a couple of hours, no less. That's assuming they actually contacted a chicken every time they swung, but I think that unlikely. As anyone who has ever tried to chase one down will tell you, chickens are quick little bastards. So maybe more like 8 or 9 rounds? That takes quite a bit of stamina. Perhaps they should try out for Q-School.
Alas, they are in California, the state where animals are more important than people. It's likely they'll be sentenced to a thousand years in prison. Or for more harsh punishment, they'll be sent to San Francisco and forced to attend emotional counseling, probably with an alternate-certification psychoanalyst of non-determinate gender. A few days of of that should cause them to claw out their own eyes and pierce their eardrums with icepicks.
posted by Jar(egg)head at 11:36
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