Rock Tipping

Toppled:

Utah authorities are mulling whether to press charges against a man who purposely knocked over an ancient Utah desert rock formation and the two men who cheered him on after they posted video of the incident online.

The rock formation at Goblin Valley State Park is about 170 million years old, Utah State Parks spokesman Eugene Swalberg said. The park in central Utah is dotted with thousands of the eerie, mushroom shaped sandstone formations.

Goblin Valley State Park

I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. One the one hand, I detest vandals and asshats, and these three children masquerading as adults are obviously all of the above. On the other hand... it's a rock. Seriously. Yes, it's a rock on a pedestal, but it's still a rock. You may have noticed we have a few rocks laying around.

On the third hand, if this was to become a fad, there'd be no 170 million year-old rocks left on pedestals. So that'd be bad. I guess.

Then I read this:

"As it is, I feel guilty because I have a conscience," he told the Deseret News. "But my conscience also says I did the right thing."

I don't think you understand what the word "conscience" means, son.

Fuck it. Throw 'em in jail. It's not as if they're likely to be productive citizens or anything.