Vive le Crap!

I know that several of you Apathetics play World of Tanks regularly. As you are no doubt aware, the French line of tanks was recently released to the live server, and they are at least as underwhelming as we might have anticipated. Some, in fact, are just plain pathetic.

If you've been as frustrated as I have with the underpowered, under-gunned, and under-armored Gallic targets tanks, you'll enjoy this humorous forum post by fellow WoT player SwedishChef. It accurately depicts the experience of driving a low-tier French tank -- as recounted in an outraaageous French accent, of course. A small excerpt:

Still smiling Ah looked up ahead as we were approaching 10, no 12!, kilometers per hour vhen Ah spotted an ominous object in zhe road before us. Eet was a rock! As beeg as a grapefruit, or even a small dog, and eet vas roight in our path. “Obstrucion ahead!” Ah cried into zhe voice-tube. Pierre wheeled zhe tanque’ into a hard left-turn and Ah strained to lean down far enough to watch zhe threatening stone as we attempted to navigate around eet. Ah prayed zhat mah initial appraisal had been wrong and eet was only a large hors’ manauer as Ah observed zhe roight track would not miss.

Eet was not to be! Zhe first road wheel smacked solidly into zhe granite impedimente’ and our tanque’ lurched to le halt. Pierre had zhe presence of mind to downsheeft quickly and he revved zhe engine while sliding zhe clutch back een. Slowly, evare so slowly, zhe wheel she climbed over zhe rock.

1cm…

2…

3…

Zuddenly we zprang forward over zhe top and Pierre backed off zhe zhrottle to avoid damaging zhe suspension bars as vhen zhe next wheel hit zhe rock. Down we came weeth a HAH-WHOOMP and she stopped us cold yet again. “Steady Pierre…” I cautioned down the voice-tube...

What happens to our intrepid cheese-eating surrender monkeys? Do they conquer the evil German pebble? Go read it all to find out.