Pretty as a f@*%ing plum

Well, shit...

The dismissal of the actress who has been a fixture of the town's Main Street Christmas Traditions celebration is causing some controversy. Residents and business owners banding together to try to save the fairy's job.

Laura Coppinger worked with Christmas Traditions for six years, and spent five of them as the Sugar Plum Fairy. She says she even spent some of her own money to make improvements to the wings on her costume.

But this year, Coppinger won't get a chance to spread Christmas cheer. The Sugar Plum Fairy has been let go, after cursing during a drug test for the job.

When she accidentally flushed the toilet, she said she uttered the offending term that led to her termination.

"Out of pure frustration with myself, I said a curse word," Coppinger said. But before she could retake the test, she was told not to bother because she had violated the Christmas Traditions Code of Conduct, which says "Christmas characters don't know naughty words."

Oh, I beg to differ.

While I never actually saw Jolly Ol' St Nick as a child, I do remember hiding around the corner of the kitchen door one Christmas Eve and listening as the big red fat guy laid out my loot in the den. He apparently had to bring that new bicycle in a box, because I could hear him putting it together. I distinctly remember hearing a loud clanging noise at one point, followed by a even louder uttering of several bad words. I think there was a female elf helping him, because she berated him for using such language.

So... False! Christmas characters do "know naughty words." Very, very naughty words.