Cow commando goes off the reservation

Kill it!

The pedigree cow made a break for freedom as farmer John Croft tried to load it into a trailer - and leaped over a 9,000 volt fence before galloping off down the A52, in Nottingham.

Officers tailed the animal for almost two miles before finally entering into a police stand-off with the cow in Caroline's garden.

'The police tried to block it off by parking a police van across my neighbour's garden. But the cow smashed into the van and ploughed its way through the fence into another garden.

Police had nearly managed to grab hold of the cow when it charged at the police line, scattering officers.

It took more than an hour for them to eventually coax the cow onto a trailer and return it to the farm, two hours after it originally escaped.

'It's doing good now," [Farmer Clueless McDolt] said. 'We took it back to the stables and it calmed down over some water and food.'

NOOOO! You fool! Can't you see that this is a member of an elite Special Operations Bovine Unit, created for the express purpose of ridding the Earth of all two-legged mammals? You should hamburger its ass before it converts your entire farm into a training ground for Ruminant Rangers.

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