Psycho Claus

I used to date a chick who was this crazy:

The badly decomposed body of a woman found in a chimney flue has been identified as a local doctor, authorities said Monday.

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac had been missing since last week, a day after she went to the house of a man whom she had been dating, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said. Kotarac went to the man’s house in the 4300 block of La Mirada Drive Wednesday evening and was reported missing by her office staff Thursday morning, DeGeare said.

DeGeare said she wasn’t sure what the status of the relationship was — whether they had been broken up or not — when Kotarac went to the house. The man, however, didn’t want to see her and left the home unnoticed to avoid a confrontation as she tried to force her way inside.

On Saturday, a woman at the house noticed a bad odor, DeGeare said. The woman, who was checking on the fish tank, investigated and saw fluids in the fireplace. She got a flashlight and looked up the flue and realized there was a body stuck there...

My little psycho didn't come down the chimney. First, she tried forcing her way in through the bedroom window. Unfortunately, that put the computer desk in the line of fire, and the only thing I had handy was a sawed-off shotgun. The possibility of collateral damage to the gaming computer was quite high. The risk was simply unacceptable.

Regretfully, I barred the window -- thus forcing her to attempt kicking in the front door. It was rather comical, but also very annoying. At that point I just called the sheriff's department and they hauled her away.

Two days later, I found the bumper fascia ripped off the rear of my Fiero, laying on the pavement in a pile of mangled plastic. It had been bumper-hooked by a vehicle painted light tan, then run over several times. I'll give you one guess what color Psychoslut's car was...

Anywho, she wasn't a doctor but she was well-educated and made quite a lot of money. Just goes to show you that smarts ain't no guarantee of sanity.