Yes, We're All Gonna DIIIEEE!!!
It's an epidemic!
THREE! The same number it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. It's also somewhat smaller than 55, which is the number of daily deaths attributable to common flu in the United States.
But... but... it's a fucking epidemic!!! The talking heads say so!
I propose that hence forth, every talking head who calls the swine flu an "epidemic" be injected with live syphilis and dropped on a desert island. That'll give them something exciting to report -- right up until the point they drop dead.
Oh, who am I kidding? The other vultures will just write histrionic stories about the syphilis pandemic among news anchors.
They may want votes, but some Japanese election candidates have been cutting back on handshakes on the campaign trail as the new flu virus reaches epidemic proportions in Japan.
The country has confirmed three deaths from the H1N1 influenza virus...
THREE! The same number it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. It's also somewhat smaller than 55, which is the number of daily deaths attributable to common flu in the United States.
Most cases are mild to moderate, with H1N1 appearing to be about as deadly as seasonal flu.
But... but... it's a fucking epidemic!!! The talking heads say so!
I propose that hence forth, every talking head who calls the swine flu an "epidemic" be injected with live syphilis and dropped on a desert island. That'll give them something exciting to report -- right up until the point they drop dead.
Oh, who am I kidding? The other vultures will just write histrionic stories about the syphilis pandemic among news anchors.
Labels: hysteria
posted by Jar(egg)head at 09:28
1 Comments:
You mean there isn't already a syphilis pandemic among news anchors? Hmm...well I would have lost that bet.
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