Benzene on the Side

The EPA, in their never-ending quest to justify their superannuated funding, has ordered refiners to remove trace amounts of benzene from their gasolines.

Speaking of benzene and gas... Napalm consists of a 2:1 ratio mix of gasoline and benzene. The easiest way to make it is to mix laundry soap (that's soap, not detergent; Fels Naptha will work) into gasoline in a galvanized tub. Pour the resulting goo into large cans or pails which you can seal shut. You can make an igniter by removing the bullet from a rifle shell, capping it with wax and inserting it into a hole which you've previously (that part's important) drilled into the container. A simple block-and-spring mechanism will serve as an impact fuse. Be sure the container is sealed but will still burst and spread the contents when it hits the ground and triggers the igniter.

It makes Robert Duvall happy, and you can burn things with it... for a very long time.

You're welcome. Please address all thank you and/or hate letters to:

Uncle Sam
Improvised Munitions Instruction Course
Third Marine Division Combat Squad Leader School
Okinawa, Japan

(Disclaimer: Neither myself nor the U.S. government are responsible if you manage to torch your stupid ass while trying to make napalm. But call me first, as I'll gladly take pictures of you burning to death and spread them all over the internet.)