Trust

The archbishop of the Chicago Roman Catholic Church claims that the rest of the world distrusts America. I believe the good cardinal is a bit confused. Many people are jealous of Americans and what we have built; that doesn't automatically mean they distrust us, however.

I'm a pretty well-traveled fellow myself, and I didn't see a lot of that distrust he seems to have found abroad. I think the confusion lies in the cardinal's understanding of the word "trust."

Allow me to explain, cardinal: If you have a nice E-Class Mercedes limousine that carries you about the Windy City, many of your parishioners may be jealous, but they won't necessarily distrust you. They're good Catholics, after all, and realize how important you think you are.

But if you fuck a choir boy in the ass... well, then they're going to distrust you.