Ready to Surrender
In yet another hare-brained attempt to contact extraterrestrials, the French are planning to beam a video message into space toward the star Errai. The video consists of two nude French people talking about music and art.
Wonderful.
I can hear the Hegemonizing Swarm making their plans for conquest already: "Look, Zog! A whole planet of naked, soft-handed art freaks! We can take this planet with a single battalion of Slavering Horde Soldierbeasts. Prep the fleet!"
Attention silly French people: if you insist on inviting invasion, at least try not to get the whole planet invaded. Just call Berlin and request one; you'll have German tanks rolling under the Arc de Triomphe faster than you can print up a batch of "I ♥ Bratwurst" t-shirts. You doubtless remember how to sprechen sie Deutsch.
Wonderful.
I can hear the Hegemonizing Swarm making their plans for conquest already: "Look, Zog! A whole planet of naked, soft-handed art freaks! We can take this planet with a single battalion of Slavering Horde Soldierbeasts. Prep the fleet!"
Attention silly French people: if you insist on inviting invasion, at least try not to get the whole planet invaded. Just call Berlin and request one; you'll have German tanks rolling under the Arc de Triomphe faster than you can print up a batch of "I ♥ Bratwurst" t-shirts. You doubtless remember how to sprechen sie Deutsch.
posted by Jar(egg)head at 10:44
2 Comments:
No, you see you've got to look at this with an enterprising mind, and turn the problem into opportunity.
I for one welcome our Hegemonizing Swarm Overloards with gifts of "french cuisine" to sate their carnivorous appetite in exchange for their filthy lucre and a share of ill-gotten alien swag.
:)
If the Errai system destroys earth, we can’t blame the French. We’ve broadcasted every episode of American Idol.
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