Brew It Up

Now this actually makes some sense. Beer has been a dietary staple for many thousands of years, in many different cultures. Nowadays, however, we've got neo-Prohibitionists and elitist health nuts to demonize it while informing us that 6,000 years of recorded human history was all wrong. Fortunately, they're here now to steer all of us poor rubes down the straight-and-narrow. Lucky us.

It wouldn't even be an issue if teetotalers and health freaks really did live longer, happier lives. But they have the same death statistics as every other demographic subset, and appear to be measurably less happy. Personally, I think it's just a case of misery longing for company. Well, I don't want your brand of misery; I've got my own. So go hawk it to somebody else, and leave me to drink my beer and smoke my tobacco in peace, please.