Billings

Some quacks in Belgium thought it would be terribly amusing to bill the United States government for their medical treatment of an Iraqi girl's injuries. As a jibe against our "illegal" war, you see... Terribly amusing, no?

"We haven't heard from them yet," said Bert De Belder, coordinator of the humanitarian agency Medical Aid for Third World which brought the girl to Belgium.

"I'm curious to know their reaction," he told Reuters. "We're giving them 10 days to respond ... I don't think they will pay it."

Please, allow me to respond:

Dear Belgian Assclowns,

Find attached a check for $66,650.00 in payment for treatment of Ms. Hiba Kassim's injuries. Thank you very much for your competent and timely medical care.

Additionally, on pages 2 through 1,217 of this correspondence, you will find a complete accounting of all equipment, materiel and personnel losses incurred by the United States in the process of removing German occupiers from your country, which you were neither competent nor willing to defend, circa 1944-45. An adjusted-dollar amount, accounting for inflation and a quite reasonable 5% interest, compounded yearly beginning in May of 1945, has been appended. Please don't fret over immediate remediation of the several trillion dollar debt; we'll take a billion a year as good-faith payment--with appropriately compounded additional loan interest, of course. At that rate of payment, you should be completely debt free by the year 6208 A.D. But it's really a very small price to pay for the freedom of your country and people, if you think on it.

A separate accounting, to be transmitted under a following cover, will itemize the costs for rebuilding your country after the war. Finding it all in order, please make reparations soonest.

Faithfully Yours,

The United States