Transcribed
They're called the Millennials in pop culture, but I've got a new name for them: The Don't Talk to Me Generation. If you're a middle-aged manager, you've undoubtedly encountered this issue: They want to email and/or text everything. No phone conversations, no voice mail, and they certainly don't want to have to talk to someone in person. God forbid you yell at them, as they're likely as not to up and quit. I'm even seeing it from customers now, as this generation moves into project management. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until I'm asked to hold a contract negotiation or a design-build consultation via text.
I blame the internet and its natural camouflage of anonymity. These people have grown up with the idea that they can take hours to frame a reply to a question. If the conversation becomes uncomfortable for them, they can just melt away into the ether, perhaps returning under another identity.
Marketers being who they are, there is an increasing attempt to cater to this passive-aggressive mentality. The latest one is Verizon's new (for me, anyway), voicemail-to-text service.
The principle is simple: use the built-in voice recognition system in the Android software to transcribe a voicemail and display it when the voicemail is selected, but (this the important bit for Millennials) before it's actually played back. I presume this is so they can screen their voicemails and save their delicate little psyches the unpleasantness which might result from an angry message impinging upon their ears. Personally, I get lots of that type of voicemail and rather enjoy them. Hearing someone all angst-ed up and seething over something lil' ol' Me did is... satisfying. Of course, my long-term ambition in life is to become a Sith Lord, so perhaps I'm not exactly the mainstream audience. But I digress...
I just saw that I had a voicemail from my father waiting in my mail box. I went to play it and was presented with the transcription. Here's what Dad actually said:
And here's what the computer thought he said:
Hrm. Okay, I'll admit it's not the worst transcription ever. Mind you, it'd get a court reporter run out of town on rails, but for a miniature electronic brain residing in my jeans pocket, it's not completely terrible. You can sort of get the gist of it, right? After consulting the Oracle at Google, I have learned that there are two people living in the United States named Laquita Ramos, one of whom is 63 years old and resides in Lubbock, Texas. I probably would have gone my whole life without acquiring that piece of knowledge, absent this slightly muddled transcription. Maybe there's something to this service after all.
I don't want to know how (or why) my father acquired an atropine injector, however.
I blame the internet and its natural camouflage of anonymity. These people have grown up with the idea that they can take hours to frame a reply to a question. If the conversation becomes uncomfortable for them, they can just melt away into the ether, perhaps returning under another identity.
Marketers being who they are, there is an increasing attempt to cater to this passive-aggressive mentality. The latest one is Verizon's new (for me, anyway), voicemail-to-text service.
The principle is simple: use the built-in voice recognition system in the Android software to transcribe a voicemail and display it when the voicemail is selected, but (this the important bit for Millennials) before it's actually played back. I presume this is so they can screen their voicemails and save their delicate little psyches the unpleasantness which might result from an angry message impinging upon their ears. Personally, I get lots of that type of voicemail and rather enjoy them. Hearing someone all angst-ed up and seething over something lil' ol' Me did is... satisfying. Of course, my long-term ambition in life is to become a Sith Lord, so perhaps I'm not exactly the mainstream audience. But I digress...
I just saw that I had a voicemail from my father waiting in my mail box. I went to play it and was presented with the transcription. Here's what Dad actually said:
Hi, Jeff. It's Dad. I just thought I'd let you know that we're in New Braunfels. We're staying at the La Quinta and just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes. So, maybe I'll try to call you again tomorrow night after nine. Hope you have a good Friday.
And here's what the computer thought he said:
Hi Jeff it's Dad I just thought i'll let you know that we're in your bottles for Stacy laquita-ramos and just wanna walk to you for a few minutes so maybe I'll try to doll you again tomorrow night atropine. Hope you have a Good Friday.
Hrm. Okay, I'll admit it's not the worst transcription ever. Mind you, it'd get a court reporter run out of town on rails, but for a miniature electronic brain residing in my jeans pocket, it's not completely terrible. You can sort of get the gist of it, right? After consulting the Oracle at Google, I have learned that there are two people living in the United States named Laquita Ramos, one of whom is 63 years old and resides in Lubbock, Texas. I probably would have gone my whole life without acquiring that piece of knowledge, absent this slightly muddled transcription. Maybe there's something to this service after all.
I don't want to know how (or why) my father acquired an atropine injector, however.
posted by Jar(egg)head at 14:32
2 Comments:
Hrm.. I guess I'm one of those people. I will talk to someone on the phone if I have to, but I generally prefer email communication. The main reason for me is that I can go back later and reference exactly what was said. Also, I can take my time and answer at my leisure (and I'm basically a Very Lazy Person).
Part of the reason I prefer written communication is due to the fact that I gather a lot of programming specifications. When we rely on verbal communication, we end up with a lot of "he said, she said" type arguments about the finished project. Therefore I encourage them to WRITE DOWN their requests, IN DETAIL (which I later throw back in their face). This usually requires repeating the same questions several times until they finally put some thought into their answers. Otherwise they seem to think that we can write a program based on their vague-ass description of how they think it should work, which generally involves magical thinking and ignores all rules of logic.
Irate customers and yelling I can handle. I've actually raised non-verbal phone communication to an art form - I can actually roll my eyes audibly (it is mostly a matter of timing, really). In this respect, Marvin the Paranoid Android is my idol.
There's nothing wrong with the Millennials that a good Apocalyptic Collapse of Civilization can't fix.
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