Ye Olde Royal Handwasher goes tits up

Kisser of other people's bottoms!

It is one of the more unusual roles occupied by the Queen’s courtiers, but Washer of the Sovereign’s Hands is a post that must now be filled.

[The] holder of the title, Peter Houison Craufurd, died on Monday, at the age of 82. He always had a silver ewer, bowl and salver holding a linen towel on permanent standby.

Houison Craufurd, who was the 28th laird of Craufurdland Castle, in Ayrshire, held the title because one of his ancestors chased off a pair of murderous thugs attacking James V. In return, the king gave him a farm, on the condition that his family be ready with water and towels to wash the monarch’s hands.

Those "murderous thugs" were probably oppressed peasants.