Gobbie Probs

It's a goblin's life:

The love for quick riches has backfired for a Bulawayo man who yesterday confessed to buying five “goblins” which he said were now sexually molesting his wife.

The man claimed he acquired the goblins to amass wealth, but all that had remained a pipedream as the traditional healer who sold him the creatures had died.

“I had five goblins, but two have remained and I cannot live in this house. I urinate blood every time, and it has sex with my wife every time.”

His wife confirmed the “abuse”.

“It walks like a goat, and when it has sex with me, I often feel tired and spit blood. One day my bag was mysteriously increasing in size and we called a Gokwe prophet to cleanse our homestead.

DON'T LET THEM GET NEAR WATER!

Oh wait, that's gremlins... Never mind; carry on with your goblinizing.