Unemployment Conspiracy Discovered!
Those selfish employed people just need to stop working so hard!
When workers become more efficient, it's normally a good thing. But lately, it has acted as a powerful brake on job creation.
It's so obvious! How could we have missed it? All we need to do is be LESS productive, and the economy will recover!
One of the great surprises of the economic downturn that began 27 months ago is this: Businesses are producing only 3 percent fewer goods and services than they were at the end of 2007, yet Americans are working nearly 10 percent fewer hours because of a mix of layoffs and cutbacks in the workweek.
That means high-level gains in productivity -- which in the long run is the key to a higher standard of living but in the short run contributes to sky-high unemployment.
Those damn greedy capitalist pigs! How dare they put their own living standard before other people's jobs!
Luckily, the Dems are catching on to this vast, right-wing conspiracy.
"It is an episode that we're going to -- we, economists in general -- are going to want to understand better and look at for a long time," Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said at a hearing last week in which he described the productivity gains as "extraordinary" and acknowledged he had not foreseen them.
With a fiscal hawk like Bernanke on the case, those selfish productive workers will have to get back in line! Nothing escapes his attention, right?
Things are looking up now! Once we get productivity back down, those 7% that do not add any productivity can get their jobs back and start applying for home loans again. Unemployment goes down, the housing bubble goes back up and we can all enjoy our free health care!
When workers become more efficient, it's normally a good thing. But lately, it has acted as a powerful brake on job creation.
It's so obvious! How could we have missed it? All we need to do is be LESS productive, and the economy will recover!
One of the great surprises of the economic downturn that began 27 months ago is this: Businesses are producing only 3 percent fewer goods and services than they were at the end of 2007, yet Americans are working nearly 10 percent fewer hours because of a mix of layoffs and cutbacks in the workweek.
That means high-level gains in productivity -- which in the long run is the key to a higher standard of living but in the short run contributes to sky-high unemployment.
Those damn greedy capitalist pigs! How dare they put their own living standard before other people's jobs!
Luckily, the Dems are catching on to this vast, right-wing conspiracy.
"It is an episode that we're going to -- we, economists in general -- are going to want to understand better and look at for a long time," Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said at a hearing last week in which he described the productivity gains as "extraordinary" and acknowledged he had not foreseen them.
With a fiscal hawk like Bernanke on the case, those selfish productive workers will have to get back in line! Nothing escapes his attention, right?
Things are looking up now! Once we get productivity back down, those 7% that do not add any productivity can get their jobs back and start applying for home loans again. Unemployment goes down, the housing bubble goes back up and we can all enjoy our free health care!
posted by Morlock Banduar at 15:33
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