Jesus Rabbit

Er, I mean... Penis!

Churchgoers are outraged [pissing and moaning] over a crucifix in a Catholic church that they say shows an image of genitalia on Jesus.

Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis [Hehehe... they said "penis"] covering Jesus’ abdominal area. Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen "showing distension” — not a penis, [Again!].

Numerous current and former church parishioners [whiners] contacted The Oklahoman this week expressing outrage [pissiness] at what many called a "pornographic” depiction of Jesus. Many asked that their identities be withheld [since they are mentally retarded].

"The crucifix is the straw on the camel’s back,” said Cook, who has attended the church for 35 years, [where she repeatedly refused to attend any metaphor classes, thus proving she wasn't the sharpest tool in the bag of wet rocks.]

J.C. displaying the large rabbit

The crucifix in question is a San Damiano cross, a common Catholic icon that originated in Italy in the 12th century and is widely associated with St. Francis of Assisi and the order he founded, the Franciscans.

Do a Google image search for "San Damiano cross" and you'll get hundreds of hits, many of them displaying similarly large Jesus rabbits "penises." Some of them even appear to be circumcised, making them... Jew Penises! Heresy!! Burn 'em all!

Seannene Smith said she visited the church Friday and also was disturbed. "I was horrified... I was shocked, stunned, and if I hadn’t been prepared already, I think I would have just been ill.”

Sooo... not a fan of hasenpfeffer? How 'bout some nice pizzle instead?