Thirty Million Dead Tort Lawyers

Headline make you smile? This won't:

Steadman bought the clock for $44 in 2008 and said it arrived in three pieces that didn't fit together or even seem to be the same model. He got a refund through PayPal's buyer protection plan and sent the merchandise back, but he wanted other potential buyers to beware.

So on the profile of emiller1313, he wrote: "Bad seller; he has the ethics of a used car salesman."

Steadman thought that was the end of it until a process server arrived with a court summons.

It turned out that emiller1313 was a Miami Beach lawyer, and he wanted damages for ruining his 100 percent customer approval rating and "commercial reputation."

That's a very mean thing for Mr Steadman to say about used car salesmen. They're some upstanding people -- when compared to lawyers, anyway.

Of course, it's possible Mr Steadman did indeed unjustly defame the slimy little assfruit of a lawyer. However, I don't care; much like cockroaches, one should stomp on lawyers whenever one gets the chance, else they'll breed out of control and overrun everything.

Remember, if we must turn to violence to solve the problems plaguing our fair country, we must be certain we keep our priorities straight:

"The first thing we do, let us kill all the lawyers." - William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth, Act IV, Scene II