The sky... it is falling

Death and decay:

Even if by some miracle the nations of the world could bring carbon dioxide levels back to those of the pre-industrial era, it would still take 1,000 years or longer for the climate changes already triggered to be reversed, scientists said Monday.

The gas already here and the heat that has been absorbed by the ocean will exert their effects for centuries, according to an analysis published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Over the long haul, the warming will melt the polar icecaps more than had previously been estimated, raising ocean levels substantially, the report said.

And changes in rainfall patterns will bring droughts to the American Southwest, southern Europe, northern Africa and western Australia comparable to those that caused the 1930s Dust Bowl in the U.S.

And...and then there'll be earthquakes and...and explosions and asteroids and plagues and hordes of GIANT BADGERS!

"The policy relevance is clear: We need to act sooner, even if there is some doubt about exactly what will happen, because by the time the public and policymakers really realize the changes are here, it is far too late to do anything about it," Trenberth said.

Yeah, going off half-cocked is always a good decision -- if you're trying to scare up more funding, that is.

One hundred years, one thousand years, ten million years... I don't care. I'll be dead. I love saying that, because it makes pinko liberals point their pasty-white trembling fingers and call me an evil, hard-hearted, white-collar capitalist asshole.

Guilty as charged. And I told you to supersize the drink, you stinking hippie. Don't make me get out of my gas-guzzling SUV and come in there...