Music Class

Failed re-education:

Andrew Vactor was facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July. But a judge offered to reduce that to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin.

I applaud the attempt, but it's casting pearls before swine...

Vactor, 24, lasted only about 15 minutes, a probation officer said.

Told you.

It wasn't the music, Vactor said, he just needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team.

"I didn't have the time to deal with that," he said. "I just decided to pay the fine."

May as well try to teach a dog not to lick its asshole. You can kick it, beat it, and berate it, but in the end it'll just lick its asshole when you're not watching. That's because it likes the taste of ass. It's a flaw in the dog's make-up; it can't help liking the taste of ass. All you can do is try to prevent it happening in public.

(N.B. - If you're thinking the preceding paragraph was thinly-veiled elitism of a deliberately divisive nature and just plain mean-spirited, I congratulate you on your perspicacity.)