Beltin' 'em Down

Properly secured:

A car driver in Australia has been fined for strapping down his beer rather than his young child.

Constable Wayne Burnett said: "I haven't ever seen something like this before. This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child... The child was sitting in the lump in the centre, unrestrained."

When Constable Burnett handed over the fine he said the driver "just looked at me blankly."

"He didn't get it," Constable Burnett said.

Neither do I.

Even illiterate peasants can make babies -- and they do, in copious quantities. I can't take three steps into a grocery store without tripping over a horde of out-of-control bambinos babbling in gutter Spanish and tearing up everything not nailed to the floor. But beer... now that takes talent to make, and it costs real money.

Oh. Is my misanthropy hanging out again? Sorry. Lemme just tuck that back in...