Frickin' Idiots

Jeebus will SMITE YOU for speaking like that!

A convenience store chain's billboard advertising its fried chicken sandwich is ruffling the feathers of some residents.

Sheetz Inc. unveiled the "Crispy Frickin' Chicken" billboards at the beginning of February.

"There was a lady who left an angry voice mail," code enforcement officer Fran Calarco said. "And a man called and said he had small children and didn't think they should be exposed to that type of language.

Darn right! Next thing you know, they'll be saying "dang" and "dad gum it" and "crap"! The road to perdition is paved with such foul language. "Frick" is just a Gateway Word™!

But there's more:

Michael Sucec, who described himself as a street preacher, told the supervisors Tuesday night that a billboard advertising Sheetz’s new "Crispy Frickin’ Chicken" sandwich is offensive to him because of the word "frickin,’" which he called a "euphemism for fornication."

"Hey, baby! How's 'bout you and me go frick?"

"We don’t feel or believe that that’s humorous whatsoever," Sucec said. "I ask you folks this evening: Do you believe this is humorous?"

Well, since you asked... Yeah. I do. It's even funnier when idiots like you take offense to it, Mr. "Street Preacher."

"It really is profanity," Sucec said.

Nah. That's not profanity. Let me give you an example of profanity, Mr. Street Preacher. If, hypothetically speaking, I were to say "you are a shit-for-brains little busybody and a useless fucking pimple on the ass of society," that would be profanity. Hypothetically speaking, of course. I believe the profanity of the statement, however, would be more than offset by the virtue of its truthfulness.