Lethal Stupidity

Still stuck in an ever-increasing crime wave, and having banned all guns, swords, pocketknives, baseball bats, golf clubs, pointy sticks, and sharp bits of furniture, the British government is cracking down on a new, heinous threat: cricket balls.

"There was a policewoman on the step below me and she was staring at the ball all the way up. As we got to the top she tapped me on the shoulder and said she wanted a word."

Mr Hurd, who works for Ernst and Young, the accountants, said the officer asked him if he knew he was carring a very hard object and he replied: "Yes, it’s a cricket ball."

She confiscated the ball while she questioned Mr Hurd for ten minutes, gave him a verbal warning and filled out a stop-and-search report.

"When she let me go and gave me my ball back, she said she was being extremely lenient with me."

A spokesman said that British Transport Police had no knowledge of the incident [but said]... "What if the ball was dropped and hit an old lady further down the escalator?"

What if...if...like, you know... a giant alien spaceship fell out of the sky and landed on top of the subway and a piece of concrete (sharp, pointy hard concrete) fell and, like, you know... hit an old lady or something? Huh? Huh?! What then?! You should ban falling alien spaceships. And concrete. And just to be safe--for their own safety--ban old ladies, too!

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