Shocking Arrest

Ronald McDonald loses it:

An employee at McDonalds, 255 Lonsdale Ave., called for help at 3 a.m. after Cardoso used his fists to break open a plate glass window and enter the business. The first police officers on the scene report seeing Cardoso inside McDonalds, wearing only boxer shorts and his blood that covered him from his head to his feet.

Cardoso fought with the police dog, punching it in the mouth and neck. Cardoso was able to crawl back to the broken window and Officer Ernest Pendergrass, who handles the police dog, pulled back the dog, fearing it would be injured by the jagged glass still in the window frame.

Cardoso escaped and jumped back into McDonalds through the broken window.

Police entered to find Cardoso standing on top of the milkshake machine. As they approached, Cardoso turned the machine on and began throwing handfuls of milkshake at the police and the police dog.

Cardoso was able to pull the machine from the wall. When Bak, the police dog, pulled him to the ground, Cardoso announced: "I'm going to kill us all," and bit into the electrical cord.

Wonderful stuff, that PCP.

(Editorial note: I've performed some re-editing on this story, as virtually every sentence had the phrase "police allege" or "police say" or "police claim" appended to it, making the article read like it was written by a stuttering idiot. I'll be the first to say that I don't trust most cops any further than I can throw them, but there's a point where it becomes paranoid lunacy--and bad copy. The chief editor for the Pawtucket Times needs to make an appointment with a psychiatrist.)