Non-Playground

Our parents used to tell us not to run with scissors, as we might be injured. Now it's just "don't run":

A growing number of school districts are going so far as to ban the game of tag and are even posting signs that read "no running on the playground."

Is there real danger on the modern playground? Safety advocates say yes and want to eliminate it.

Their first target: swing sets.

They've convinced Portland Public Schools to remove all swings from elementary schools playgrounds. Portland Public Schools have also rejected merry go rounds, tube slides, track rides, arch climbers, and teeter totters.

The longer we wait to start killing tort lawyers, the more we'll have to put down simultaneously. May as well get started now and avoid those messy concentration camps.