Dead Stupid

Having recently sold our house and moved into an apartment while the construction of our new home is completed, both I and my wife can testify from personal experience that the people who manage and work for apartment complexes are, almost without exception, some of the dumbest, most ignorant people you'll ever encounter. While I'm sure that there are indeed a few rare exceptions, most of them are--as a friend likes to put it--girls too ugly to be strippers.

Here is a prime example:

A local woman was dying inside a Brevard County Housing Authority apartment, but the manager wouldn't let police inside. Sue Morin said she was just following Housing Authority rules when she didn't unlock apartment 506.

With the door locked, Melbourne emergency workers tried the front window. It was locked. They then went to the side. It was locked. Around back they went only to find a window open, but by then a lot of time passed.

Joyce Hughes, 63, died 12 hours later.

"There's nothing you can do to bring the lady back. Nothing I can do. I'm not responsible for that lady dying," [Morin] said.

Just when you think they can't get any dumber... Compared to her, the congenital idiots running the complex where we temporarily reside are candidates for MIT scholarships.

It's unfortunate this mouth-breathing dolt won't be charged with manslaughter and locked away where she can't breed and further contaminate the human race. I do hope, however, that Ms. Hughes' family sues the imbecilic cow--and the apartment complex--for every single dime they possess. Apartment complexes are nothing but cash cows for unscrupulous vulture capitalists--which is why they hire minimum-wage nitwits in the first place.

And while I'm on the topic, the next person who asks me, "So... How's apartment life?", will have their face summarily converted into a puddle of protoplasmic goo.

"It sucks. How's your face feel?"