Ground Level I.Q.

Safety is Job One. Or cleanliness. Whichever:

The sweat shirt was dangling on power lines overhead as Sean Murray stepped outside the office. The Chicago man says he remembered company e-mails about everyone chipping in for a cleaner workplace, so he went looking for something to knock it down.

He found a metal pole.

Yes, you can see where it's going. But wait! There's more:

After a few swings toward that sweat shirt, the metal pole struck the power line -- and Murray was jolted backward and soon on fire.

Woo-hoo! On fire, no less! Bonus points for style.

Murray insists that if not for a rash of vandalism complaints outside the company's headquarters, he wouldn't have even tried to dislodge the sweat shirt. He says he feared a neighborhood kid would try knocking it down with a rock and instead smash a window.

As lame excuses go, that sets a new low, Sean. I'm guessing you thought that one up on your own. Unfortunately for you, the surgeons couldn't do a brain graft while they were at it.