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Actual headline:

More To Travel Over Memorial Day, AAA Says

This article couldn't be any more patronizing and condescending if it had been penned by Dan Rather:

This is probably one of the most-traveled weekends

People shouldn’t leave work today and immediately take to the roads.

Pack your patience

People are more stressed and more tired if they start driving after having been at work all week.

It’s wiser to drive after resting.

People are more at risk to get in an accident if they drive while tired

Relax. You’re on vacation. The party will wait for you.

Bicyclists need to make sure they wear their helmets this weekend...just as they would the rest of the year.

Play smart. Don’t get yourself injured.

Because of the sun and heat, people should wear hats and sunblock and babies should be kept out of the sun.

Yes, mommy! OK, mommy!