Stunshells

I gotta get me some of these:

Stun-gun maker Taser International of Scottsdale, Ariz., is developing a shotgun shell that will be far more powerful than current ones, a report said.

Taser's eXtended Range Electro-Muscular Projectile, or XREP, is meant to combine the blunt-force trauma of a fast-moving baseball with the electrical current of a stun gun.

The new product is designed to hit targets from a distance of up to 300 feet, compared to 25 feet for a Taser.

That's right, kiddies. Toss your nasty used condom on my lawn again and I'll turn your privates into a black-and-blue tesla coil. Bonus: I can do it from the patio with a glass of scotch in my off hand.