Airborne Assault

Those dastardly bovine belligerents are taking to the air:

Imagine that you're walking along a road, minding your own business — or perhaps you're driving in your car — when all of a sudden, out of the blue, a cow comes hurtling out of the sky and lands on top of you. This situation, odd as it may sound, happens more often than you might think...

There have been multiple examples of people struck by flying cows. These incidents, passed off as "freak accidents" by a clueless press, are quite obviously weapon tests. The lack of parachutes is a clear indication that the cows themselves are the weapons. Whether the evil ruminants have hijacked an aircraft or are simply launching themselves with a crude cowapult, (catapults are purely a feline device), it's a fact that half a ton of ballistic beef is nothing to sneer at. Be on your guard.


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