We're All Going to Die! Twice!!
It's alive...again! Scientists waking up 30,000-year-old 'giant' virus
And why are they waking up a 30,000 year old dormant virus, you ask? Well, I'll let them tell you:
Scientists who discovered a prehistoric virus called Mollivirus sibericum in the Siberian permafrost plan to give the virus its first wakeup call since the last Ice Age (after first verifying that it can't harm humans and animals, thankfully). It's hoped the study could shed insight into ancient dormant viruses that could, it's feared, get another chance at spreading as permafrost retreats due to climate change.
That's right kiddos! In this doomsday report, they are trying to prevent you from getting a killer virus, while drowning in the new oceans formed by (Dramatic serious music) GLOBAL WARMING!!!! If you wish, you can get an early start on the wailing and teeth gnashing before it becomes fashionable
1 Comments:
Now see, this is why laboratory scientists should be chained to their desks and watched closely by pitiless men with guns. Otherwise they'll get up to all manner of destructive nonsense.
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