Deadbook

/eyeroll

Death has always presented a delicate problem for Facebook and other social networks. In theory, the deceased’s timeline is the perfect virtual venue for far-flung friends and family to commiserate and share their memories. But people don’t always leave their Facebook pages in a condition that they—or their loved ones—would want to see preserved for all posterity.

Until now, there has been no way to manage a dead person’s Facebook account—and no way to tell Facebook what you want to happen to yours when you’re gone. A close relative could request that it be “memorialized,” which locks and freezes the account forever. Or they could petition for it to be deactivated and taken down. (Facebook users could also, of course, simply give a loved one their passwords, handing over full control of their accounts. But that was a violation of Facebook’s terms of service.)

Today the social network announced a new setting that will give every Facebook user the option to have their account permanently deleted when they die. Alternatively, users can now designate a “legacy contact”—a friend or family member to take control of certain aspects of their account after death.

Hey, if you don't see any posts here for a few months, there's a pretty good chance I'm dead. Or maybe I just got bored. At that point, you should find something else to read. Know why? Cuz either way, I don't give a fuck.

If you are actually concerned about the status of your Facebook page post mortem, you need to find another way to spend your time, because you are on a non-stop train to Loserville.