Bill Him Later

What's likely to be Hillary's biggest stumbling block in 2016? Her husband's continually wandering dick.

In the years since Bill left the White House and Hillary’s own stature has soared, the subtext of their narrative has been successful: Whatever the true nature of their marriage, that’s between them — which is fair when the issue is monogamy between consenting adults.

But when you’re running for office as the first female president of the United States — who, by the way, has spent her entire life advocating for women’s and children’s rights — and your husband has spent years consorting with at least one known pedophile who ensnared girls as young as 14 into his private sex ring, it’s a potentially insurmountable liability.

The power-hungry little witch hitched her wagon to the randiest horse in the herd decades ago. She knew what he was, but chose to stay because power was more important to her than fidelity and trust. Ambition always has a price, and now the Bill is coming due.