Working Tithe

Praise the Law-ord and pass the toilet lid!

Employment with an Aliquippa-based Bath Fitter franchise required membership in what was essentially "a cult," a woman alleged in a civil complaint filed in U.S. District Court today.

Jo A. Yochum, whose age and municipality of residence were not immediately available, started working in 2004 as a sales representative for a Bath Fitter franchise run by FJW Investment Inc., according to the complaint. She was required then to sign on to a training agreement with a firm called Partners Through People, the complaint continued, for which she would have to pay $90,000 through deductions from the commissions on her first $3 million in sales of products like one-day bathroom remodeling.

The training, though, was actually "religious proselytizing and indoctrination," the complaint said. Training materials "required trainees such as Yochum to reflect not on the nature and quality of the renovation materials to be installed by Bath Fitter, as one might expect, but on the nature and quality of 'Evil, Sin, Judgment Day, Hell, Guilt and Punishment, Deserve and free will...'"

When Davis and I were in high school, back when wooly mammoths still roamed the Earth, we decided we wanted to join the Civil Air Patrol. We quite naturally assumed this was a good starting point for getting onto the path for a private pilot license. We envisaged a bunch of piloty-type guys sitting around drinking coffee and telling stories about their volunteer search-and-rescue experiences -- which is nominally one of the main reasons the CAP exists. What we found was somewhat different.

After finding a seat in the auditorium at Ellington Field, where the CAP in Houston held their monthly meeting, we quickly discovered that we had stumbled into a Tuesday night revival. Oh, they said they were CAP folks, and they had the shirts on, but if they ever said anything about an airplane Davis and I didn't hear it. After about ten minutes of listening to over-the-top proselytizing, we headed for the exit. My memory is ailing these days, but I seem to remember that Davis had some, eh... "parting words" for them as we made our grand exit. He was always the hellion you understand, continually leading nice, polite, innocent lil' old me astray. Ain't that right, Davis?

I have since come to realize that Born-Agains often act as social viruses: they tend to infect whatever organization they join. Before you know it, the knitting circle becomes a witch hunt to run all the "pervert atheist Jee-zus haters" out of the neighborhood. Or the sales training organization becomes a holy crusade. On the other hand, at least they aren't blowing people up in the streets. They're relatively harmless -- just very annoying.