Cookie Monster

Hands off mah cookies, biatch!

According to police reports Howard came into her roommate's bedroom while she was sleeping and accused her of eating her cookies. The woman said she had given the cookies to Howard's children who were up, and hungry, at 1 a.m.

The woman offered Howard $10 to pay for the cookies, but reports say Howard refused and the two women began to argue. The argument became physical and the woman's husband pulled Howard off her, while she ran from the room.

Reports say Howard picked up a pair of scissors and followed the woman in a threatening manner. The woman ran down the stairs, but reports say Howard dropped the scissors and picked up a board and struck her as she ran down the stairs.

The woman then ran to the kitchen, where Howard followed her, knocked her to the ground and continued to hit her. The husband separated them again, allowing the woman to run out of the house. Howard, reports say, followed and picked up a sign and began to strike the woman again.

Scissors, a board, a sign... Impressive use of improvised weapons. Rather than tossing her in the can (and thus putting ourselves in the position of paying for her daily ration of cookies), I propose that we strap a parachute on her ass, tell her the pie-rats stole her cookies, and then drop her into a Somali pirate camp.

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Hat-tip to Jeff W.