Golf Punks

How 'bout a nice goose-egg?

Forest Lake police are searching for four young men who may have intentionally shot golf balls at a couple in a canoe, striking a woman's head as she fished with her husband.

The 49-year-old woman was struck in the back of her head at 7 p.m. Sunday on Shields Lake, along the 15th hole of the Forest Hills Golf Club. Forest Lake Police Chief Clark Quiring said police arrived to find her in extreme pain and bleeding. She was taken to Regions Hospital in St. Paul, where she received stitches. She still has headaches and a large goose egg.

Quiring said the husband reported seeing four males in their late teens to early 20s wearing white baseball caps and appearing to hit golf balls toward the lake. He reported hearing a splash, then laughter, then the sound of a club hitting another ball. Just then his wife yelled that she was struck, and the men left quickly in two golf carts.

There's one crime I'm incapable of committing. True, when I'm swinging at a golf ball there's no safe place within a 300-yard radius of me. But long experience has taught me that it's quite impossible to hit anything at which I'm actually aiming -- including fairways.