Buried Alive

Your trash has reached critical mass:

An elderly couple who authorities described as hoarders were found buried alive under mounds of trash in their South Side two-flat Monday night and may have been there for as long as three weeks, authorities said this morning.

Not to belabor the obvious, but if you end up buried underneath a pile of junk and trash, you probably ought to clean house.

Many police officers I've known -- including Davis -- have told me this sort of "living condition" is more common that most people think. I go all OCD if the clean dishes drying on the sideboard are there for more than a day. Admittedly the man-cave is a bit cluttered -- what with the computers, modeling table, and various semi-dead electronic devices laying around -- but Mrs Jar(egg)head just pulls the door closed and mutters. (On that topic, I'm building a new man-cave in the extra garage bay to which I will soon be exiled, along with all the collected toys, tools and trappings of my mid-life crisis. I've found that women tend to be happiest when men aren't in the house. I'm hoping I'll be allowed in to cook and shower.)

I cannot imagine even entering a home like the one in this article, though -- let alone living in it. As an atheist, I maintain that people are just animals. That's more true for some than for others, unfortunately.

Oh, and here's a happy thought: a human being can only survive about seven days without food and three without water. They were under there for three weeks and are still alive, so... Enjoy your lunch!